Pamela Anderson - The High Times interview

By Dan Skye, photos by Emma Dunlavey/JME Photos

By Dan Skye, photos by Emma Dunlavey/JME Photos

Following the birth of Hollywood,the “sex goddess” emerged. In the beginning, there was Clara Bow, followed by Mae West and Jean Harlow. In fact, there seems to have been a “bombshell” for every era of recent American history: Betty Grable during World War II, and Marilyn Monroe in the ’50s and ’60s, of course! Then Elizabeth Taylor, Brigitte Bardot, Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett, Bo Derek …. But none have had the longevity of Pamela Anderson. She posed for Playboy in 1989, then was widely “noticed” in 1991 when she took the role of Lisa, the “Tool Time” girl, on the hit TV series Home Improvement. As C.J. Parker in Baywatch, Anderson became an international star, the lifeguard whom millions of men dreamed would come to their rescue. Over the course of her career, she’s also appeared on the cover of Playboy 15 times. There’s a widely held perception that a bombshell must be empty-headed. But as Anderson says, “Don’t underestimate me.” She uses her massive celebrity to endorse and promote a wide range of social issues, from veganism and animal rights to speaking out against the scourges of sex trafficking, domestic abuse and Internet porn addiction. In a September Wall Street Journal essay prompted by the latest sexting scandal of former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, Anderson denounced pornography as “a boring, wasteful and dead-end outlet for people too lazy to reap the ample rewards of healthy sexuality.” Pam sat down with High Times to talk about the nature of fame, beauty, parenting and other issues. And while she doesn’t use cannabis herself, she clearly sees the folly of keeping the plant illegal.

Your era as a so-called “sex goddess” has lasted over two decades. What do you think accounts for that? 

I think I was fortunate to be around in the last age of mystery. There is so much access these days. The internet has changed everything; everyone is famous. Everyone wants to be seen—seen too much. It’s a dilution of sexy people everywhere.

Often, High Times gets negative comments for running pictures of beautiful women holding cannabis plants. And often, these arguments seem to be anti-beauty in nature, as opposed to being concerned about sexism. What’s your take on society’s frequent criticism of sexy images?

I think a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl. “Sexy” comes from within. I think it’s all gone a bit off course: Internet pornography has become an addiction, destroying lives and loving relationships. It’s frightening that people don’t see this undercurrent of madness stoking the fires of perversion. Desensitization makes lousy lovers. I miss sexy. Playboy was sexy… innocent. I know your question was about sexism, but we all have a role to play in this. I’m looking at mine. I know it seems odd coming from me—stolen sex tape and all—but this is what keeps me up at night. I’m worried the world will forget how to make love. And I want us to somehow, freely, think together. Let’s keep each other happy,healthy and safe—respected— and love each other well.

Does being considered beautiful get tiresome, as if you have a responsibility to your looks, making sure you look your best at all times?

I’ve never thought my looks were my strong point. Maybe that makes getting older easier. Hah! Every woman always wants to look her best. But my favorite time is when I can let my freckles out—with leftover mascara and smudgy black from the night before. Bedhead… I guess that’s my “look.” My mom is always telling me to comb my hair. 

In this issue, we’re focusing on marijuana’s benefits to fitness. Is cannabis part of a healthy lifestyle for you?

I actually don’t smoke. I’ve tried on occasion over my lifetime. I’m looking forward for it to be safely regulated and legalized. I support the decriminalization of marijuana; I know it has helped many people. And nobody needs to go to jail for marijuana. I’m glad Obama pardoned a lot of people lately for petty offenses.

How have you addressed the issue of cannabis with your kids as they matured?

I told my kids they were allergic to smoke… partially true! Moderation is always key. Or if that’s not a word in your vocabulary: abstinence. That’s with any mind-altering substance. Self-medication is an issue to be concerned with. I try to talk to my boys about everything, so we get through any wounds together. It’s okay to feel emotions. Boys really need to hear that.

What do you think accounts for America’s resistance to legalization?

People are afraid. They don’t want change. It’s hard to understand the legalization of a “drug” you were told not to do your whole life. I think it will solve a lot of problems to legalize. It takes the “thrill” out of it. Some will do less; some will do more. But it will be less dangerous.

Americans seem to be in the Stone Age as far as their diets are concerned. What’s your most persuasive argument for being a vegan?

I don’t need to hurt any being to feed myself.

Sometimes when animals are abused, people seem to care more than they do about human suffering. What motivates that in human beings?

Is that true? I think people who care… just care.

What issue or issues make you angriest?

Sometimes, the reality show of politics in America at the moment. It’s embarrassing— we just have to get through it. I’m glad a woman will be president of the United States. That alone will help the world.

What motivates your compassion?

I think people who have faced adversity have empathy. I believe that love heals. An act of kindness, a choice— we make choices every day. If we can think of others in all of our actions, we are living a sensual life.

We’re hoping that Leonard Peltier gets clemency. You’ve become a good friend of his. What light can you shed on Leonard as a person and his plight?

His health is not good. And he should be set free—it would send a tremendous message. I hope Obama grants Leonard clemency. This is the time when he could. Go to and sign the petition. Watch or listen to “Freedom” by Rage Against the Machine.

Are you an optimistic person? Does the state of the world depress you, or do you feel humans can do better? 

I’m a mother… I worry. I worry about climate change, the oceans, endangered species. I work to help victims of domestic abuse and sex trafficking. There’s a sickness surrounding pornography and people enslaved by the sex industry. We have to learn how to make love again. It will save us.

Your relationships with men have sometimes been less than what you’d hope they would be. Are relationships hard for you? If so, why is that?

I don’t tolerate abuse, but I see the best in people—even people who refuse to see the best in themselves. I leave only when there are no other options. I believe everyone deserves love—even a second chance. We’re all human, full of flaws. Just never put yourself in danger.

I saw you on Court TV during the trial where a movie company tried to sue you. You were awesome! You took their attorney apart and won the case. Are you a combative person?What gets under your skin?

I get misunderstood a lot, underestimated at times. Never mistake my kindness for weakness.

What do you want your legacy to be?

Kindness is the mightiest force in the world. Sensuality is a sexy kindness. I hope I’m a part of the sensual revolution that holds us together, instead of this bizarre divisiveness tearing loved ones apart.

Pamela Anderson on pornography, animal rights and Donald Trump

Underestimate Pamela Anderson at your peril — the former actress and model has turned her hand to campaigning and it’s getting real results.

Pamela Anderson is surprisingly proper. It’s not just her clothes - gingham top, pencil skirt, ballet pumps - but her careful choice of words, regal posture and finishing school manners (she pours her tea with a delicate flick of the wrist and won’t touch her food while talking) that seem more First Lady than Playboy playmate. So it’s a mark of quite how “awful” she finds trophy hunters like Donald Trump’s sons that she not only grimaces at their mention, but declares in that buttery, breathy drawl: “Anyone who does that must have a small penis.”

I’ve met Anderson at The Dorchester. She’s yet to have breakfast but already has a full face of make-up. But the actress - the Marilyn Monroe of the 90s, star of Baywatch and staple of boys’ bedroom walls - has long since recast herself as a pneumatic St Francis of Assisi. A long-term supporter of PETA, now focusing on conservation too. 

Raising awareness isn’t enough - Anderson, who is chair of the ocean wildlife charity Sea Shepherd and on the Russian council of the International Fund for Animal Welfare, believes in action and wants to make activists of us all. Recently, she tried to buy beluga whales and orcas in Russia (for $20,000 each) that were set to be sold to a Georgian aquarium. She’s also going to Canada during the seal hunt, aping Brigitte Bardot 40 years ago. “I’m going onto the ice flows to take pictures with seals. [Canadians] get spitting mad when you start talking about it.”

Her recent lobbying of Russia on conservation issues has been controversial. “I don’t want to accept the propaganda we’re being force-fed about Russia in America,” she responds. “The Russians have relationships that America doesn’t, like with China. Sometimes people don’t want to be told what to do by the West.”

In December, Anderson’s going to Moscow. “I’ve fallen in love with Russia. In a crazy way [because] Putin is a very powerful man, he can be the hero. He loves wildlife. I know it’s basically a dictatorship, and he’s for all sorts of things I don’t agree with, but it needs someone as powerful as that to do something.” She notes that Putin does listen: “He stopped importing seal products because I wrote a letter to him.”

Anderson has had an affinity with animals since childhood. Feral cats would follow her; one, she recalls, walked sideways. She has spoken in the past about being sexually abused, and tells me that there were experiences that made her feel “animals were my only friends”. Until she had her two sons, Brandon (20) and Dylan (18), she preferred animals to humans.

Her animal activist awakening came aged six when she stopped her father hunting. “My Dad told me never to go in to the pumphouse, so I gathered all my girlfriends — ‘let’s just see what’s in there’. I found a deer carcass with no head, dripping into a bucket of blood. We all screamed. It was like a movie, pigtails flying everywhere” Her parents still eat meat “though less of it. I’ve tried everything.” When Baywatch made her famous, she called PETA: “I needed to share this attention with something meaningful. I was sick of talking about my boyfriends and my boobs.”

At this point, Anderson’s breakfast arrives. She has ordered a vegan Full English with more excitement than I've ever seen anyone muster about baked beans. The waiter had asked how she wanted her eggs. “It’s vegan — no eggs,” she sighed, a conversation she’s clearly had many times. She’s currently producing a film with James Cameron about vegan men, to show it isn’t intrinsic to masculinity to eat meat. “They’re showing Navy seals, body builders. Being vegan is actually more manly, because you are taking care of all of us. That's why men are on the planet: to protect and provide.”

This leads us onto a famous vegan sandwich: the Pret one she delivered to Julian Assange at the Ecuadorian embassy. Afterwards, there were false reports on Twitter that Assange was ill, and then wild rumours that Anderson had poisoned him. “There was no arsenic in the sandwich,” she laughs. “Who am I, 007? Julian didn’t even eat the whole sandwich.”

She considers Assange both a “political prisoner” and a friend. “I believe he’s one of the leaders of the free world. He’s sacrificed his life for us. Hopefully he will inspire people not to be corrupt.”

She was introduced to Assange by her close friend, Vivienne Westwood. “I’ll probably see him again before I leave. I adore him; he educates me. But there are elaborate plots against him. Even me visiting made me a target — people were saying things to discredit me.”

What does she make of the sexual assault accusations against him? “I think they’re completely false. it’s bullying on a different level.”

Anderson seems to collect causes. Her latest — working with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach — is calling for a “sensual revolution” (also the title of a book she’s writing). She worries hardcore pornography is “damaging intimate relationships, dehumanising” its users: “The sexual revolution had its good points but it also gave us really bad sex.”

Anderson was on Playboy’s cover 14 times and keeps saying she isn’t sure she’s entitled to criticise pornography. I tell her I disagree - that that gives her authority - and a mischievous grin spreads across her face. “I know, but I like it when other people say it. If I disqualify myself, everyone says ‘oh no, you’re the best’. It’s psychology.”

She thinks Playboy is different, anyway; it was “titillating, innocent” but hardcore porn is more damaging. “I’m concerned the world is going to forget how to make love. Viagra is going crazy, because people can’t get aroused by their wives any more. Women have said to me, ‘my husband hasn’t touched me in four years, because he’s in the basement watching porn’. It’s an addiction.”

This campaign was partly inspired by her sons, who she heard chatting to their friends about hooking up. “I said ‘If you disrespect women, you disrespect me. That’s not what love looks like. You have to be in a monogamous relationship to have a sexual experience.’ And they’re like ‘woah! Ok!’”

She’s mostly doing this for women, though. Women think they want to be treated like a sex symbol in bed. As an actual sex symbol, she disagrees. “I’m a romantic. I’ve been in experiences where I’m with a man I love and all of a sudden, he’s flipping me around, slapping me, spitting on me, calling me a whore.” She shudders. “What the hell? This is terrible sex! Get an imagination and call me back afterwards.” Shmuley has said that if Anderson is having bad sex, that’s the sign of the Apocalypse. Anderson smiles. “Even I can’t make love to a brick wall.”

Anderson has been married four times — to drummer Tommy Lee, to Kid Rock and twice to producer Rick Salomon — but she still believes in monogamy: “I look at my parents and think, ‘thank God they’re still together’.”

Though she admits her brain is struggling with so many different messages, she believes it’s all connected - porn, politics and conservation. “Desensitised people have a lack of empathy. If we don’t have empathy for each other, how do we have empathy for animals?”

Someone who seems devoid of empathy, Anderson notes, is Donald Trump. She met him once. “I think it had something to do with beauty contests. There were a lot of beautiful girls there. That in itself shows you [something]: what was he involved in that for? He says he loves women more than anybody — yeah, but for the wrong reasons.”

She didn’t see a lecherous side — he was with his wife — but isn’t surprised by the recent revelations. “He acts like a spoiled, rich brat who’s never had any repercussions for anything. He’s delusional.”

Although she’s a Bernie Sanders fan, Anderson will vote for Clinton. Will we see an explosion of misogyny if she wins? “The universe is bringing it up for a reason: we need to face it. Whenever a woman is taking a ‘man’s job’” — she makes air quotes — “it gets ugly.”

Ageing clearly agrees with Anderson. She says her eyesight’s going — she can’t read the menu — but that now people take her seriously. I say that’s there’s a gravity - meaning to say gravitas - that comes from getting older.  “Oh, there’s gravity all right! I thought maybe if I sleep upside down in gravity boots, like a bat, maybe it’ll all come back” - she scrapes up her skin, giving herself a finger face-lift - “I’d be hanging upside-down thinking, ‘it doesn’t look good that way either’. ”

Despite being 49 now, she was on Playboy’s final cover last year. “That was the last call I thought I’d get! Brandon was next to me and said, ‘You have to do it. It’s iconic, Mum.’” 

Was it difficult for them having such a famous mother? “I’ve told them things age-appropriately. They’ve found out a lot in the school playground, and they’ve had fist fights over their mum, but now they get it. And I was hands-on. I never had nannies.”

She tried to encourage them to find careers outside showbiz but Brandon’s an actor and Dillon’s a musician. Brandon is also in a Dolce & Gabbana ad and once interned for Westwood. He ended up calling Anderson from the Arctic, where they were trying to stop drilling, saying, “what the heck’s going on? Vivienne’s yelling ‘where are the polar bears?’”

So is she a cool mum? “They think I do things wrong. It’s the typical mother-son relationship. ‘Oh Mum, you should have done this. You could be so rich like Kim Kardashian!’ That’s not a life I aspire to. I am rich: I’m healthy, I have two beautiful boys and I’m doing what I’m passionate about. I don’t need stuff.” She says that last word with disdain. And with that, she gives me a goodbye hug - and a reading list.


Pamela Anderson has a body of work that encompasses entertainment and activism. She is an international icon who uses her status to help make the world a better place.

Pamela Anderson holds the record of appearing on the cover of Playboy Magazine a record 14 times, including the magazine’s final nude pictorial this past January 2016.  Pamela’s first major television role was playing Lisa, the Tool Time Girl on ABC’s hit sitcom “Home Improvement” for its first 2 seasons.  She became a global icon starring on the internationally successful series “Baywatch” (5 seasons) and went on to co create, star in and produce her own national/international television series “V.I.P.,” which ran for four seasons.  Pamela’s feature film career includes a starring role in “Barb Wire” and Sacha Baron Cohen’s obsession and love interest in the hit film “Borat.”  She recently finished shooting the indie film James Franco directed - A strange period piece “The Institute” and recently starred in the critically acclaimed indie film “The People Garden” and Luke Gilford’s short film 'Connected.”  She's finished shooting in Montreal the French Canadian miniseries “SurVie,” portraying an avante-garde actress adhering reluctantly to modern filmmaking.  And - future projects include a short film shooting in LA this december directed by Josh Safdie. 

Segueing effortlessly from the world of acting into activism, Pamela’s courage, compassion and empathy combined with her worldwide popularity, has made her a powerful voice for the planet, for the animals and for humanity.  As an honorary board member of PETA she was instrumental in many successful campaigns over the last 20 yrs. (too many to mention). She chair’s the board of directors of Sea Shepherd Conservation Society which helps to further the foundation's mission to maintain biodiversity in our oceans along with bringing awareness to the cruel capture of whales and dolphins for Aquariums, the seal hunt and the dangers of fish farms. She is on the Russian council of IFAW and has also joined forces with Dame Vivienne Westwood and Climate Revolution to protect the Arctic from drilling, defending human curiosity, and environmental rights. She advocates for Julian Assange, and Leonard Peltier — freedom of information, education and Justice for the vulnerable, for all living beings on the Planet - exposing the hardships of women and children in difficult surroundings.  In 2014 she founded her own foundation, The Pamela Anderson Foundation (, which supports organizations and individuals that stand on the front lines in the protection of human, animal, and environmental rights. 

Anderson has a vegan surf- snow boot line called PAMMIES (, She recently aligned with The Hatch Winery, to create her first vintage in the Pamela Anderson wine collection ‘CONTEMPT ‘Brut Rose.’ With an inspired cinephile twist. 

She is committed to all her causes and applies everything she learns to everything she does. 

She is an advocate for women and children. And has been speaking out about the dangers of porn addiction and desensitization. Encouraging empathy - calling for A Sensual Revolution - while writing her book The Sensual Revolution. (A guide to the erogenous mind ) Her hobby is writing erotic short stories and poetry. 

A native of Canada, Pamela has dual citizenship in the USA and Canada. She is the mother to two boys, an avid art collector and friend to the art community. She has been a distinguished speaker at both Oxford and Cambridge in regards to activism.


You’ve obviously been quite involved in lots of causes, but some readers will be surprised to see you’re involved in a debate at the Oxford Union about porn. How did you get involved?

I've spoken at Oxford before on Veganism. And I've also done a talk at Cambridge about the negative effects the meat industry has on the environment. My latest appearance at Oxford is to start a Conversation with Young adults who I think are extremely prone to and affected negatively by technology's easy access to vile pornography - taking the twisted visual along with them into the rest of their lives. It might pollute their relationships or even affect their mental health. I worry about college campus sex crimes. I do think porn is partly responsible. It's sending a bad message - that it might be ok to do hurtful things to others? Or accept bizarre acts from others. and therefore hurting people. Infecting the human experience. 

What drove you to take part? It feels like a critical moment for porn.   

Well, I have grown male children - (that's enough of a reason) and I have friends and family who have suffered as a result of others addicted to porn . I have had my own negative experiences. And think it's something we all need to talk about more. I'm in a unique position. I can't compare the pornography I'm worried about with Playboy or the home movies that were stolen from my husband's and my house. I'm worried about violence against women, demeaning a spouse or neglecting a spouse- it would be very sad if the world forgot how to make love in this 'pop a pill' - fast food sex era-  I see percolating. We all get into relationships to be desired- not discarded. 

Has porn affected any of your relationships, or those of your friends?

I can tell you - I don't wish be treated like a porn star . It's terrible, terrible unimaginative and very boring sex.  Having An intimate experience with another human being is engaging in the world like an artist does. It is a dance. It takes effort and skill - It takes someone brave to be vulnerable and open. Letting go might not come as natural to some men- but when they do - it is explosive in more ways than one - Buying sex is very one sided. I'm concerned even the consumer is missing out on being truly loved. And I'm also concerned about people that have given up or been forced into sex work. 

Do you worry about porn in relation to your sons?

I don't like that children as young as 10 yrs old? can gain access at home or at a friends or at school. Kids know more than we do about computers. It is not funny. It is imprinting a poor message. Love does not look like porn. It is not how we want our children to treat people. Or even think that they should accept that behavior. I think it's putting pressure on young people to behave in an anti sensual way. Ways that don't feel right. We need a sensual revolution. We have gotten all the good stuff we need out of the Sexual Revolution. Unfortunately it gave us really bad sex. 

Some might say that your career has been based on a somewhat porn aesthetic – how can you distinguish between good and bad porn?

That is a personal choice and needs soul searching. . I know where I draw the line. What about you? 

What do you think is damaging about porn? The nature of it? The depiction of women? The easy access to it?

It's a disconnect. I want to encourage human interaction esp at this time when we need to save the world. We need intimacy and empathy more than ever. We cannot check out. And we must hold our relationships dear. 

Is there a healthy environment for porn? What constitutes good porn? Is there such a thing as ethical porn? Would you ever direct or produce porn for women? 

Whatever happens between 2 consenting adults is between them. I just hope people aren't putting up with behaviors because they are 'trying to be cool'- it is much cooler to respect yourself. Sexy is healthy. To be demeaned in any way is not. 

Are you nervous about standing up in the Oxford Union? Who are you debating against?

I love speaking at schools - of course it's a bit scary- but-I'm trying to engage students. What is Activism?. When you read a book you are an activist, when you contribute to the arts and consume less you are an activist. When you stand up for the vulnerable, use green energy, stay away from plastic or ride your bike or grow your own tomatoes. You are an activist and Activism is Sexy. Learn about the world and be kind to one another as a friend, as a lover, as a parent-Sensuality is a sexy kindness. 

Where would you say the easy access culture porn exists in is taking us?

I thinks its a dark place. I hope people can speak to one another about it. And know I'm on your side. I am fighting for you to have incredible uninhibited romantic experiences. I'm not a prude. I just felt someone needed to speak up. I can take the heat. I know that it may seem hypocritical? coming from me-considering the perception some have - but that's perception manipulated- 

Believe me- 

I am a very creative lover. 

But, even I can't make love to a brick wall. 

Oxford (notes)

I probably should start by disqualifying myself from this conversation on Porn Addiction-
after all I'm part of the problem- I'm a playboy playmate who's home videos were stolen, spliced together and sold on the black market- without recourse- fed into the mainstream media for the whole world to watch -
a married couple celebrating their lives together -
which included making love andin our case running around naked most the time-- making home movies- I've never seen the 'sex tape' that started a desperate trend with other 'on the verge' celebrities -
-  We started to fight it.
But, It was humiliating and frustrating- I was told that because of my Playboy-background- I had no right to privacy'? the depositions were insensitive and creepy- they blew up naked playboy photos of me and placed them in my view- there were 5 men refiling questions at me about my sex life with that white stuff in the corners of their mouths.
I could barely comprehend what they were saying - I just kept thinking -Grown men are looking at me with such hatred - It made me feel worthless, scared and confused.
What did we do wrong?- We didn't want this to happen? It was stolen from us- It was not meant for others to see -
I was in constant tears.
I was 7 months pregnant with my youngest baby -Dylan - We had also had our baby Brando at home-
The stress was too much.
We decided as a family that it was not in our best interest to continue- It wasn't worth the health of me and more importantly our son to fight it anymore -
The damage was done-  it was already out there-
We were offered money by awful porn distributors but wouldn't take it--  
It would be dirty money- we were not for sale.
It was not a choice we made
for fame or for money--
there was no sleazy self promoting motivation behind it-
like some other
manufactured and desperate celebrity sex tapes that soon followed.

I blame this in part - escalating the end of my Marriage -
it was too much -
I guess it was inevitable,
then - after some time,
I married another Rock star -
I was trying to re-create a family for my kids-
replacing one with another- it was unfair to my new husband- he took the brunt of all my unresolved feelings-- there was no hope-
though he took us in as his own and tried very hard-- the
the lifestyle seemed to be another toxic environment for love to grow- and I regret putting my kids throw another failed marriage.
Years later, I married an old friend who seemed to change his life -
But, addictions like to cross paths. As I learned unfortunately.
I had to find out the hard way.
But, I am grateful to him in some ways - this specific and painful journey Is what inspired the debate within myself--
Self Worth.
I'm well aware -
my track record isn't one of a saint ...
And it may seem hypocritical- not a self proclaimed 'sex symbol', but still-
complaining about porn-- and prostitute addiction - as who Im perceived to be-

I have been on my own for over a year now-  on purpose and a practice-
looking at my life -
taking stock -
and realizing a lot -
I have a unique perspective--
Being surrounded by dark, addictive behaviors and witnessing how they can effect romantic love -
I am a romantic--
Smokey Robinson once told me one night at the mansion - consoling me over a recent divorce-
He said don't worry Baby.
You're a romantic. You just keep trying.
I believed him.  It made me feel better.

I am a sensually driven woman., I am not a prude--
there lays the frustration-
great sex-
is not porn... far from it.
If you've been treated like a porn star or a prostitute you might relate- it's not fun to be slapped around - flipped all over, spit on and called a whore? It's sick, it's hurtful - demeaning -and it's terrible, terrible sex -
as society desensitizes
through the easily available explicit imagery on the internet- at any age - witnessing bad behavior-
we go numb,
and become neglectful- neglect is a form of abuse and is also used to manipulate.

People who kiss and tell are usually liars.

Relationships are suffering- in very painful ways--

My goal isn't to 'stop the internet' (though it once was-) I've grown to understand that's not the answer. That their is a higher purpose in sharing information this way.
It is a simple idea-

I'm am
afraid the world might forget how to make love--

the quick easy fix of masturbation -
leaves us all relieved and frustrated at the same time-

too much access,
too many young people accessing images of what they think love may look like?

there is not enough mystery - gone are the days of finding your father's playboy -
innocent exploration, titillation - the girl next door?- smiling semi nude women - being cheeky and flirty - what's wrong with that?.
It just may be a taste of what turned out to be a darker trend- but- raunchy
Porn killed Playboy too-
like Video killed the radio star...
the sexual revolution along with its good parts. Also gave us really bad sex.

I thought I had the market cornered- in some ways.
I lived a dream few have - I very much enjoyed the freedom and beauty at the Playboy mansion. Experiencing and truly
living a sensual life.
Making sexy bold choices-
As I still do.
I won't give up.

some people say-
oh, she's just getting old
and jealous--
that's partly true-
I'm getting old -
I'm genuinely concerned-
I'm concerned about Violence against women or any living being.

So now with Age comes insight.
I look at my past -

I was born in a very small town on Vancouver Island-my parents were very young when they had me 18 and 19-
my dad was a chimney sweep slash poker player-
my mom was a waitress-
since I 'made it big'? They didn't have to pay a bill.
They were able to retire. They are still together -
I'm proud to say--
they have gone through a lot- but stuck it out--
through thick and thin--
I am grateful they are together now--
even though I'm not sure they modeled a healthy relationship - What is a healthy relationship?
they have both had healthscares at different times over the last few years. Dad's mellowed out with old age - and have they have been there for each other--
that's the goal- to have someone to live our entire lives with-- I wish that for all if you - and
those seeds must be planted now-

I was worried, as I seemed to provoke
obsession and jealousy-
I felt I made people crazy-- mistaking that for crazy in love -therefore making me impossible too. It takes 2, to implode a relationship.
- I still romanticize the good times and I even have regrets -- and questions,
maybe a separation ?
and hard work in therapy might
have been the better option?

I have found every relationship represents me at that time-- more broken than the last--

I'd rather be alone right now
than hold up another mirror -

I have work to do-
this is part of it - sharing my experience - it may help others and therefore help me too.

A humble beginning taught me how to work hard--
untreated addiction in my family taught me about fear...
I was molested by my female babysitter somewhere between the ages of 6-8 yrs old? I was raped at 13 yrs old by a man who was teaching me how to play backgammon-
I had violent boyfriends, violent husbands... a violent father at times , and at risk angry brother - who suffered too- I see the trend--
it must stop-

I had no control over my life,
my body-
my desires--
I was programmed --
When I was approached by Playboy I initially said no-- when they kept approaching me-
I finally said yes because I was in a an unhealthy relationship-
2 weeks before my wedding day--
I ran away to LA-
to be on the cover of Playboy-
Playboy saved my life-
Playboy was my university--
I learned EVERYTHING there-

I moved to LA in '89,
I married in 1995 -
We had 2 beautiful boys (who are now 18, 20) as a mother I have now had to learn about social media, Instagram -
public pollution- I like to call it-
Our self worth is not determined by how many likes or followers we have--

I only loved the attention on my terms- not the tabloids -
I eventually learned to tune it out- we all need that trick.

We are all creating our own myth-
Literally- with editing apps and photoshop sometimes-
It's fantasy-
Less aware of where we end and the world begins-

I am proposing a sensual Revolution-
Not CensorshipThis is not the Governments issue.
Though Putin seemed to nip it in the bud- (a concern for free speech - but addressing the problem his way.)
This is our issue.
I am a Mother.
My boys-
both are romantics-
they have witnessed a lot of love, a lot of despair -- and despite at this time, with their imperfect rockstar parents. They are not self absorbed, or have entitlement issues. They are my miracles.
I know they will find loving lasting relationship-
they are brave and not bitter- they would take that chance-
I've sat with them through tears about girlfriends-
Even at their age with
so many options/dating apps?-- they crave meaning and good girls who respect themselves.
when I've heard the word "hook up? Used loosely among their friends.
I have had to have deep, sit down - 'that's enough' conversations about that--
I tell them to be careful-
if they disrespect women
they disrespect me--

Brandon is much more sensitive than he lets on- he's the actor so his flare for drama is a bonus -he is learning his limits, applying self discipline- determined and ambitious.

Dylan is the Buddha--
zen like-- 'butterfly boy' we called him- butterflies would land on him as a baby- he has a calmness about him that is inviting -but also protects him
He's a musical artist - and, innately sees through people and their intentions.
he has boundaries behind that mega watt mischievous smile-

they both teach me so much-- just by watching them grow-- and by giving them advice-
we are giving advice to ourselves -
I like to take
A technology vacations-- I did for 6 months. It improved all my relationships and weeded some out. Taking time away from devices leaves time to meet someone's eyes from across the room-
Linger on that, blush-
feel that feeling.

Cell phones make it too easy
to access each other-
or keep tabs on one another-- how can trust ever be built-
on a soul level-
when you can click on someone's current location-
I'm guilty of that one-

Feeling that deep connection- the lightening bolt-
cou'd a foudre...
the dance--
wait for 'the one'-
The best for last.
I've had a wildly romantic and fun life--
I am taking time out to discover something - a social experiment
that might bring back enduring happiness--
people are meant to be together into their old age-
the family is what will save us--
We can create our own families.
Consistent human connection- compassion for all living beings, if it's what we eat, what we wear, we just need to love.
inspired to take chances-
to share and
give back.
Activism is sexy. An engaged with the world empathy.

depression means
purposeless mess--
We must find our purpose.
that's where Joy is--

We are ALL climate refugees- we are all in the same boat- we must take care of each other -

We imprint on ourselves what we watch and listen too- numbness--
a protective layer- fear--political tactics, bullying-- porn-
We can't get rid of porn,
the internet or the news--
but- we can chose for ourselves what we do with our time--
There are plenty of people -someone to talk to -
to help-- to love,

Human connection, fun, conversation-
courtship, seduction--
a lost art.

Porn and prostitute addiction is self serving--
it also contributes to sex trafficking,
pedophiles, child abuse and
fetishes that are turning violent- and escalating.
They have no meaning--
or productive value - in society.

I hope to plant a seed- that
making love between 2 committed people is the best sex I've ever had-

Maybe I'm "new fashioned"-- I'm sick of the
'trying too hard' TTH we used go call it. A turn off.

When I fantasize-
I fantasize about a family ,
a loving husband--
holding hands on the beach-- cooking for a table of friends and family--
someone to laugh with,
to cry with,
to share the world with,
to tackle problems together with
and age together-
in a fun loving way like best friends-

be brave -
do not give up -

soon sex will become virtual-

An androgynous sexless empire-

I think most of us still want someone
that we desire -
to desire us back-

Some people can no longer get aroused by another person in the flesh-
some have been addicted to porn since their first exposure to sexual feelings-

For some its only been on line masturbation - fear of human contact. They've over stimulated themselves.  
It keeps taking more. Something stranger and possibly worse to get that thrill.
Even a Viagra, Cialis epidemic.
Being a 'sex symbol'-
I may have some authority on this subject--
I've done almost 50 years of research.

Thank you
I wish you all great wild uninhibited sexual
Experiences within a loving and respectful relationship.

November 8

If Hillary Clinton does not make it clear to the youth/forward thinkers of America what role Bernie Sanders will play in her Presidency, she may lose us to Jill Stein. (That's not a bad vote by the way). I do not believe in tactical voting.


Vote your depth

Don't live in the dark

Ask questions from all walks of life and people you admire. 

You don't have to vote like your parents. Your vote is your right and it is private. It is complex and media and government seem 'anti people'.  1 million people control 1 billion people. I'm very inquisitive. And blessed to have so many interesting friends to draw from. 

NGO's unite. We count on you to do what governments should be doing. The people of the world must demand a green economy not a war culture. 

I hope Bernie has influence in a Clinton presidency. But I fear he caved a bit early. (I can't imagine the pressure). Assange is keeping them honest. 

Don't believe everything you see or read in the papers. Do the math. And as an individual think of your kids and Grand kids without a healthy and biodiverse planet there is nothing to fight over. 

Cook at home more. Don't use plastic. Use renewable energy. Watch and measure your use water - as individuals we can make a difference no matter what anyone around us is doing. Eat more vegetables and less meat.

Get on your bicycle and walk more places. The list goes on. It's common sense. 

This month will be an interesting one. Stay clear headed. 

Fear is how people are controlled, manipulated - read Shock Doctrine (Naomi Klein)

Stay happy and loving. Hold your family and friends preciously. And have lots of good face to face conversations. Remember the world is beautiful. Enjoy it. 

Nature is healing and gives us insight. 

Blessings to all,

Pamela - 

The playmate and the rabbi: unlikely bedfellows fighting internet porn

Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson described porn and its ubiquity online as ‘a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness’. Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/Rex/Shutterstock

Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson described porn and its ubiquity online as ‘a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness’. Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/Rex/Shutterstock

Playboy stalwart Pamela Anderson and self-styled ‘America’s rabbi’ Shmuley Boteach are set to hit the Oxford Union.

They make unlikely bedfellows, the Playboy playmate and the rabbi, but they have found a common belief and mission: that pornography is harmful, and we – by which they mostly mean men – should be consuming much less of it, or at least not fuelling the demand for the viler, more degrading parts of it.

On Saturday, Pamela Anderson, the most enduring sex symbol of recent times, and Shmuley Boteach, self-styled as “America’s Rabbi”, will talk about this at the Oxford Union. It follows a month of campaigning, which kicked off with an opinion piece they wrote for the Wall Street Journal.

They described porn, and its ubiquity online, as “a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness” that leads to the implosions of marriages, families and careers. Children, they said, are being “raised in an environment of wall-to-wall, digitised sexual images … [becoming] adults inured to intimacy and in need of even greater graphic stimulation. They are the crack babies of porn.”

They met when Anderson was being honoured by an organisation run by Boteach. “We celebrate and promote universal values and [people] who are attached to the state of Israel,” he says, when we speak on the phone set while he and Anderson are being driven through London to a TV studio. “Pamela has been a very laudatory and complimentary spokesperson about Israel. We gave her an award.”

They became friends, and began talking about their feelings on relationships – and pornography’s effect on them. Boteach is known in the US for his books on sex and relationships and appearances on TV. Together, they decided to launch what they are calling the “sensual revolution”.

Some may recognise Boteach. He has been criticised within the Jewish community, and by many fellow rabbis, for his work on sexuality and theology alike, been investigated for the way his organisations use funds, and his seemingly immense appetite for self-promotion is not to everyone’s tastes (he had his own reality show and has made numerous appearances on shows such as Oprah and Dr Oz; his book Kosher Lust was serialised in Playboy). And he has appeared at the Oxford Union before, in 2001, where he spoke alongside his friend Michael Jackson, to whom he acted as “spiritual adviser”.

Anderson wasn’t put off by Boteach’s controversial, colourful past, she says. “I love Rabbi Shmuley and everything he stands for. I’ve learned a lot from him. He’s very outspoken and he’s in a position to do that and make powerful change. I respect him immensely.”

Since the WSJ piece, Anderson has been accused of hypocrisy, given that her entire career has been built on nude shots for Playboy, most recently in December, which was Playboy’s last issue to feature naked women. “Porn even killed Playboy,” she says, though not everyone will weep.

But Anderson has always been clear about the distinction. According to the artist Marilyn Minter, who worked with her in 2006, she is “the opposite of Anna Nicole Smith and Marilyn Monroe – she owned her own sexual power”. Anderson refuses to consider that Playboy is pornographic: “I think it was titillating, innocent,” she says. “It was highbrow – there was art and culture.


“When I went to the Playboy mansion I met great artists, intellectuals, people who were into philanthropy, art, music. I look at that as a fond memory but I understand … ” She pauses. “There are people who eat meat and become vegetarian – that doesn’t make them hypocritical, that makes them a growing, evolving human being.”

But she says she doesn’t regret her work for Playboy, because she views it as different from what is available online today. “I do believe that internet porn is addictive, getting weirder and weirder, and darker, and I think it does lead to violence against women.”

Does she not think that something such as Playboy paved the way? “It might have, it opened the door, but we’ve gone down this rabbit hole of dark pornography and it’s getting worse and worse.” Boteach joins in: “Some people might try to disqualify her from this conversation, saying, ‘You are someone who has been part of this culture and now you’re criticising it’, but the truth is who would know about the impact of that culture better than Pamela?”

Not that we should assume Anderson has had some kind of radical feminist epiphany (she has always refused to call herself a feminist), but she is undergoing something of a reinvention in other ways.

Born in Canada, she was spotted at a football game in Vancouver and became the face of a beer company, before Hugh Hefner, the Playboy founder, asked her to move to LA and become a model. In 1992 she joined the hilariously good-looking cast of Baywatch, the successful show about Los Angeles County lifeguards, and Anderson became a global star.

During the 1990s and early 2000s Anderson did a few films, but mainly appeared naked in Playboy and other men’s magazines; in the tabloids she was better known for her turbulent marriages. Later, launching her own charitable foundation, she would talk about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child and young teenager.

Now she is known as an activist as much as anything else. She has supported Peta for more than 20 years, and runs her own foundation. Presumably, like anyone hurled into celebrity at an early age, she has spent a lot of time since then figuring out how to carve something meaningful out of it. Luke Gilford, a young independent filmmaker, was struck by exactly this when he persuaded her to be in his short film, Connected, recently.

“I was interested in capturing this moment in time for her where she’s this ageing sex symbol trying to find deeper meaning in her own life,” he says. “She has a lot of ideas, a lot she has to say and a lot she has experienced. People don’t realise how much there is to her.”

However curious her partnership with Shmuley, no one can deny that they’re making their point at an opportune moment. Look at the tone of the US presidential campaign, Anderson says. “There is this culture of men who speak this way about women.” Shmuley adds: “There are men who are marinating in a culture of our portrayal of women.

“We have to take a deeper examination of [that].” Porn, he says, “trains men to see women as a means to an end. The idea of pornography is to portray women as a walking male orgasm, that women are there to stimulate men for sexual climax. This is part of addressing it. Not through censorship, but an honest conversation.”

This has become a subject Anderson feels strongly about. “I think we should really look at ourselves and think is this affecting our relationships and causing a lack of intimacy? Because I’m talking about having better sex, better loving relationships and more respect for women. I have two teenage sons and I want them to experience loving relationships and sensual experiences.”

In the past, she says, “people assume, because of who I am, that I want [sex which is] wild, crazy, slapped around, called a whore. What is going on? I’m here and telling people you can have beautiful, loving sex without the demeaning side of it.”