Q and A / Poland

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I’ve never had a chance ...
(To do a great film)
Even though great directors like Tarantino and Herzog are curious and have shown interest in me. Maybe the Safdie brothers, Sean Penn and James franco.
The misfits-
the rebels are those that love me the most. The last of the romantics.
The punks.
Vivienne Westwood and David LaChapelle.
Ed Ruscha and Richard Prince.
Jeff Koons and Santé D’Orazio
Tony Shafrazi and Schnabel.
I’m not an easy fit.
Even Nick Cassavetes said he could win me a Golden Globe-.
Then why do I run far far away.
My favorite game as a young girl.
Boys chase the girls.
But no one wanted to play with me.
Try and catch me ...?
I’ve created an image that might be bigger than any role I could play.
It was too easy -
Performance art is just walking out the door -
I don’t know if I’m talented.
I have so much to express.
It makes me crazy.
I want to dance but I can’t dance.
I want to paint but I can’t paint.
I want to bend light into words.
I love words.
I love to write.
Maybe this is something I’m good at.
Writing.
Sketching body parts
So many fantasies, short stories.
Images flying through my head.
Artists understand me like Amanda Lepore, Sergei Polunin and Daniel Lismore.
Maybe
I haven’t unearthed what I’m here to do yet as an artist. Something new. Something no one has seen yet. This is the dilemma.
What to do?
I’m rumbling from head to toe.
I feel volcanic.
Alive and Dead at the same time.
My romantic life ...
A movie.
Maybe
I AM an actress.
Please someone tell me -
I battle wild swings of emotion.
I am not always safe in my own hands.
I make a lot of people angry,
confused-
insecure.
I have no sense for business.
I have no desire to have any sense at all -
Especially for business.
But
I’m always provided for.
I wish I could help more.
Have a bigger voice.
I know where I stand in America.
On the edge.
I won’t be silenced.
The rest of the world is greater.
More in tune and loves me much much more.
I am not afraid.
I am still safe
But feel like I -
I barely
hold on to my sanity ...