NÎMES Pamela Anderson vient en porte-parole de luxe des anticorridas

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Elle était déjà venue il y a plusieurs mois pour une photo devant la statue de Nimeño II, devenant de ce fait un soutien de poids de l'Alliance Anticorrida de Claire Starozinski. Un coup médiatique qui avait fait parler, et qui a donc donné des idées aux militants anticorrida.

Ainsi, Pamela Anderson est revenue à Nîmes, cette fois pour remettre en mains propres au maire Jean-Paul Fournier une pétition contre les corridas dans les arènes de Nîmes qui a rassemblé près de 600 000 signatures. "Je viens pour être la porte-parole de ces près de 600 000 personnes qui ont signé la pétition, ce n'est pas normal qu'un pays civilisé on continue à tuer des animaux de cette manière", affirme la star avant d'estimer que "de plus en plus de personnes sont contre la corrida, nous y sommes presque." 

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Sans surprise, l'accueil en mairie a été plutôt froid, seules Pamela Anderson et Claire Starozinski parvenant à pénétrer dans l'hôtel de ville, les autres personnes présentes — dont l'avocat de l'Alliance Anticorrida et la presse, s'étant fait refouler par un policier municipal. "Une fois en haut la secrétaire de mairie et le directeur de la communication nous ont sèchement dit que nous ne serions pas reçues, s'étrangle Claire Starozinski au sortir de l'hôtel de ville. Nous lui avons répondu que nous avions le droit de voir le maire, et on nous a rétorqué que le maire avait le droit de na pas voir ses concitoyens. C'est un déni de démocratie."Reste que "nous avons pu montrer que près de 600 000 personnes sont contre les corridas à Nîmes", se félicite tout de même la militante.

 www.anticorrida.org

The Closer - A Ride Responsibly PSA Starring Pamela Anderson

Ride Responsibly is committed to ensuring the safety and protection of all ground transportation passengers and drivers. Following historic labor decisions by California’s Supreme Court and the California Public Utilities Commission, it is critical that lawmakers across the nation address the unfair labor tactics utilized by ride-hailing apps, and work to curb the abuse that drivers suffer on a daily basis. To learn more, please visit www.rideresponsibly.org

Letter to Kanye Free Speech/Julian Assange

Hi Kanye-
Hope you are well 🙏
I was wondering about your thoughts on Julian Assange.
I support him and I know you value
Free Speech -
Visibility is good for him especially in America.
Where they are trying to put him away for life or worse
for exposing corruption in governments.
I think they are trying to kill him.
It is Torture -

He’s been locked in a small room for almost 6 years in London at the Ecuadorian Embassy.
And He now can have no visitors. No Phone calls or internet.
They are squeezing him.

He is genius.
A real world leader that young people love.

So
I want to seek more voices and
share more about his fight.
Public support could set him free.
Media is monopolized
So some brave voices are the only
Hope to break through.

I’ve always supported your ‘no filter’ - 
you speak your mind.
And
you make an impact.
I’m sure a lot of people feel like you -
They just are stuck in what
society says is OK to say.

If you want to know more about Julian
Let me know
Or just look at his life and writing. 
How he has sacrificed
for the truth.

I think you’d admire him.

Take care of you

PS
Thank you Kim for going Fur Free!

Vivienne Westwood delivers a message appealing to the people of Ecuador to continue protecting WikiLeaks publisher Julian Assange

Playmate to Politico: How Pamela Anderson Became an International Woman of Mystery

                                                                                                                  photo by David LaChapelle

                                                                                                                photo by David LaChapelle

The former 'Baywatch' star opens up about her relationship with Julian Assange ("We talk about the Bible"), attending Donald Trump’s birthday party (for a $500 fee), her activism, ex Kid Rock ("When he was with me ... I don't think he was very Republican") and meetings at the Kremlin with Vladimir Putin.

Heads, as they always do, turn when Pamela Anderson enters the room. Wearing a flirty Dolce & Gabbana polka dot dress and black Louis Vuitton pumps, the former Baywatch actress looks every inch the Hollywood star on holiday as she strolls into the lounge at the Sofitel in Marseille and settles at a table overlooking the old port city. But Anderson, who turned 50 last summer, actually lives just 15 minutes away, where she shares a home with her new boyfriend, French soccer star Adil Rami, 32.

Yes, that's right, the onetime poster girl for Malibu (and red swimsuits) has decamped to the South of France, where for the past year or so she has transformed herself into a bombshell Zelig, forming an unlikely, even surreal network of friendships with a shocking range of influential — and sometimes infamous — world figures. If politics makes for strange bedfellows, Anderson is running an orgy. She's become pals with everyone from GOP billionaire activist Sheldon Adelson (an old Malibu neighbor) to Bill Clinton (they partied together at the Vienna AIDS Ball) to kosher sex guru and former congressional candidate Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (they wrote a book; see page 94) and a slew of other movers and shakers from various corners of international culture (punk designer Vivienne Westwood, pop artist Jeff Koons). As a political figure in her own right — championing animal rights — she's been invited to speak her mind at venues ranging from Oxford University (where she talked about veganism) to the Kremlin (where she spoke about Siberian tigers) to the Eastern Economic Forum in Vladivostok (she gave a speech about endangered species).

And then, of course, there have been the strange rumors about her dating a certain Russian president. "I love this question," Anderson says, laughing, when asked about her relationship with Vladimir Putin. But she doesn't actually answer.

By far the most controversial relationship in her life at the moment, however, is with Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks, the website that released hacked Democratic emails at strategic points during the 2016 elections that many believe may have helped swing the election to Donald Trump. How the Hollywood sex symbol became friends with the world's most wanted hacker — holed up in the Ecuadorean embassy in London for the past six years to avoid extradition to Sweden, at first, and now the U.S. — is something of a mystery. All Anderson will say is that they met "years ago" and that it was Westwood who introduced them (Westwood calls her "one of the most intelligent women I ever met"). Anderson also declines to reveal the exact nature of their relationship, although it's clear her many visits with him at the embassy have drawn them close.

"We talk about everything," she says of her friendship with Assange. "We talk about the Bible, we talk about what's happening with my kids, what's happening with his family. It's not just about politics, even though I do take a lot of notes and it's so overwhelming, the information he gives me."

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Anderson is still working as an actress in films — she'll start shooting a French-language movie in August with director Philippe Lacheau (a sort of French Farrelly brother) — and she's keeping busy in other ways, as well, like assisting a German magician on a recent European tour (more on that hobby-job later). But the woman who once ran in the sand with David Hasselhoff, who has appeared on the cover of Playboy more than any other human being, has found in France the most fascinating, unexpected and in some ways bizarre role of her career, and she's playing it on the world stage.

Somehow, while nobody was looking, Pamela Anderson found herself at the center of the geopolitical universe.

When she arrives at the Sofitel, Anderson has just finished up a French lesson nearby. Judging by her conversation with the waiter — she orders legumes, quinoa, pommes frites and a Provence rosé with ze purfect Franch accent — the lessons are going well. "I always knew I was going to live in the South of France at this time in my life," she says, and takes a sip of wine. "Since I was doing a lot of photo shoots here for Playboy, like 20 years ago, I wanted to live here so bad. I had done Malibu very well, you know? Like with Baywatch and Soho House and walking around with my dog. I felt like the mascot of Malibu. And I just wanted out of there."

So, when her two 20-something sons with ex-husband Tommy Lee had left the nest and embarked on their own careers — Dylan's a musician and Brandon an actor — she rented out the Malibu house to "some businessperson from New York" and settled in Saint-Tropez. There she met Rami, who persuaded her to move to Marseille with him. Here in France — a country where the president is 25 years younger than his wife — their 18-year age difference barely raises an eyebrow. "He's not a part of that [showbiz world]," she says. "That's the best part."

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Anderson has always been skeptical when it comes to Hollywood, even when she was living in it. She pulled her sons out of classes in Los Angeles and enrolled them in a boarding school on Vancouver Island to offer them something akin to her own British Columbia upbringing (she was born in Canada but became a U.S. citizen after moving to Los Angeles). Her relationship with Lee, one of three ex-husbands, was famously volatile, with accusations of abuse leveled at the Motley Crue drummer. "I picked her up many times from her lawyer's office and flew her up with her kids and hid her out in Aspen for a month because the guy was beating her up," recalls former mogul Jon Peters, who briefly lived with Anderson in the 1990s. "But she made it through. She raised the kids. She's got money. She's got a career."

Her son Brandon recently was involved in a physical altercation with his father over derogatory tweets the rocker posted about Anderson. But these days Anderson tries to keep her distance from family dramas. "I stay out of it," she says. "The kids are adults, and they make all their own decisions. I look at the differences in their personalities and their fearlessness and their ambition and their clarity, and I'm just so proud of both of them."

She only hopes she won't be appearing as a character in the upcoming Netflix movie about Motley Crue, The Dirt. "I can't imagine it being of any interest," she says. She's even more dismissive when it comes to her other famous ex-husband, Kid Rock. She says she never spoke to him again after they divorced in 2007 and isn't buying his new Redneck Everyman persona. "When he was with me, he didn't hunt. I don't think he was very Republican, but now he is. Oh well." She sighs.

In any case, her day-to-day life now is tres ordinaire, she insists. In the morning she might make a trip to le petit marche with her vegan grocery list in hand, then perhaps take a boat ride from Cassis to Calanques. In the evenings, she entertains at home with Rami and friends, hosting frequent vegan barbecues. Her last professional gig — aside from co-writing that sex book with her friend Rabbi Shmuley, Lust for Love: Rekindling Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship — was being a magician's assistant in Hans Klok's magic show touring the Netherlands and Germany. "It was one of those things that ICM said, 'You're never gonna wanna do this,'" she recalls of discussing the job with her agents. "And I said, 'This is the only thing you've brought me that I want to do!'"

Between jobs and barbecues, though, Anderson has found plenty of time for politics. Last fall, she stepped into something of a controversy by telling Megyn Kelly that Harvey Weinstein's victims should have "known what they were getting into." The comment did not endear her to the #MeToo movement, to say the least, but Anderson is not backing off. "You need to have that Spidey sense or whatever it is that this is not right," she says, doubling down. "When someone answers the door in a bathrobe, don't go in that room. Or if you go in the room, get that role. (Laughs.) Sorry, now I'm really in trouble. I remember Revlon and Guess Jeans both offered me huge campaigns, and I didn't feel right about going into a room and sitting on a bed. I just had this sense that this was not going to go well." The closest thing to an unpleasant encounter was over the casting of the 1992 Steven Seagal movie Under Siege. "I remember him saying to me, 'If you don't do it, then that girl across the hall will do it, and she'll get the job,'" Anderson recalls. "And I said, 'Well, good, goodbye."

Anderson's personal politics, like her personal relationships, are often complex. She's a feminist, she says, yet she's appeared on Playboy magazine's cover 14 times and was offended by how Hugh Hefner was criticized after his death. "I hate when people say bad things about him because I believe he empowered women and I believe he did so many great things for civil rights," she says. "I say Playboy was my university. I learned about activism, I learned about art, I learned about artists, and there were always really colorful, wonderful people there. It wasn't seedy or salacious or sleazy. It was cool."

She agreed with Bernie Sanders on many issues in the 2016 presidential election, but once he was out of the race, she voted for Jill Stein. She's not a huge Donald Trump fan, having crossed paths with him in the past, back when she was part of the Playboy universe. "I think it was his birthday," she recalls of their first meeting. "I was hired to be there. We all were paid like $500 a day. He was with a wife — I don't know which one — but he was nothing special." And yet Anderson also takes swings at one of Trump's favorite whipping posts, the so-called fake media, claiming that WikiLeaks is the only trustworthy source of information. "There are people in the world that don't question authority," she says. "They just think, 'Oh, somebody smarter than me has figured it out, and I'm gonna go on with my day and I don't have any feeling about it because I'm too busy.' I think that's dangerous."

Her most passionate issue, though, is the animal rights movement — she recently exec produced an anti-meat documentary with fellow vegan (and Malibu neighbor) James Cameron, The Game Changers, which screened at Sundance and Berlin. And she has sometimes furthered that cause by forging alliances with politicians whose records on human rights have been less than stellar. She started palling around with Putin, for instance, after she wrote a letter to him in 2015 urging that a shipping vessel carrying endangered fin whale meat be blocked from passing through Russian waters. Since then, she's visited the Kremlin and met with scads of Russian officials: Putin even invited her to his inauguration so that she could hand him flowers at the ceremony (Anderson couldn't make it).

At the moment, though, her biggest concern is for her friend Assange. Nearly a month has passed since they last spoke, and Assange's internet access was cut off by the Ecuadorean government. Days before meeting with THR, Anderson traveled to London and attempted to see Assange but was denied access. "He's cut off from everybody," she says, a frantic note creeping into her voice. "The air and light quality [at the embassy] is terrible because he can't keep his windows open and he can't get any sunlight. Even prisoners can go outside, but he can't. I'm always bringing him vegan food, but he eats very simply. I talked to him on the phone the day [his internet] was shut off. He sent me an urgent call. And now, nothing."

Assange, she believes, is in grave danger. Although Sweden has dropped the rape charges that sent him fleeing to the embassy for protection — accusations that he has denied — he still can't walk out of the building without being arrested and extradited to the U.S. to face trial for espionage. Anderson, for one, believes those charges are completely bogus despite widespread agreement, including among U.S. intelligence services, that WikiLeaks coordinated with Russia to release the hacked DNC emails in order to impact the 2016 election. "He's been wrongly accused of so many things," she says. "But this is a way of keeping him down and keeping him ineffective. He's just ruffling the feathers of people that are powerful. I always try to humanize him because people think he's a robot or he's a computer screen or he's not this human being.

"He's so misunderstood," she continues, "especially in Hollywood, and really hated, because of the Clinton monopoly on the media."

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If it weren't for her sons, who still live in Malibu, Anderson might never return to California, even for a visit. There's enough going on in France to keep her creatively fulfilled, she says. She plans to attend this year's Cannes Film Festival for a premiere or two, as she did last year, when she hit the red carpet for the AIDS activist film BPM (Beats Per Minute). After all, she has her own wild Cannes memories, like in 1995, when her first starring vehicle, Barb Wire, was introduced to buyers. "This is before we shot one frame of film," she remembers. "It was so out of control. Boats were running into each other and people were falling off the boats with cameras. I was in complete shock."

She's got some other movie projects in the works; the Safdie brothers (Good Time), darlings of Cannes, have been courting her for a film (after they finish making the Adam Sandler starrer Uncut Gems for A24), and Werner Herzog has a role for her in his long-gestating Vernon God Little — adapted from the Booker Prize-winning novel — if the German auteur can ever get it off the ground. ("He met with me numerous times at the Chateau Marmont and said, 'I can make you have the best performance, I know what to do with you,'" Anderson says.) But for now she's happy to split her time between her vegan barbecues with Rami and her new role as muse in chief to some of the world's geopolitical power players. Although, to hear her tell it, she's not entirely sure why on earth anybody is bothering to listen to her at all.

"I speak at the Kremlin or I speak at Vladivostok at the economic conference about green energy and a green economy," she says, smiling. "And I don't know what people are expecting from me. I can talk about whales and the environment, biodiversity of the oceans. I can talk about anything I want because I think people are still looking at me, trying to figure out, 'Why is she here?'"

via https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/pamela-anderson-defends-julian-assange-talks-vladimir-putin-more-1107298

Pamela Anderson Is Here to Save Your Sex Life

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With her bleached blonde hair and buxom assets, Pamela Anderson may famously known as a sex symbol, but these days, the former Baywatch star and vegan activist is writing books about intimacy in the era of hookup apps.

Lust for Love: Rekindling Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship, which was released April 24, is co-authored by Anderson with Los Angeles rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who has written more than 30 books on love and relationships. The duo paired up to encourage us to get off our smartphones and start paying attention to the people around us — namely, our partners.

Anderson, who has been through several partnerships herself — marriages to Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and two marriages to Rick Salomon — now lives in the south of France with her 32-year-old French boyfriend Adil Rami.

This book reads like a conversation between the two authors, who offer tips on how to keep the fire alive in your relationship, like meeting at a hotel in the middle of the day to have sex, bringing sex toys into the equation and touching each other under the dinner table at group gatherings. They also pull examples from the past to illustrate the present, drawing upon the turbulent romance of Napoleon and Josephine, the poetry of Anaïs Nin and the love story between Estés and Manawee from Women Who Run with the Wolves).

PAPER caught up with Anderson about online distractions and why commitment is sexy.

You recently released your new book Lust for Love. Where does the conversation begin between you and your co-author Shmuley Boteach?

We met because he was curious how my public and private persona were at such odds. He knew my neighbors who had a birds eye view of my real life as a mom and active participant in the community. We met and both decided that each of us should write a book. Then [we] thought [it'd be] even better to write a book together on the topic of sensuality. I was writing already about a sensual revolution to make up for the disaster the sexual revolution handed us in love and relationships, commitment and romance. He had such great advice for me — I was facing a difficult divorce — with all the elements of love but desensitization, modern thinking and distractions destroying my every day. Shmuley is brilliant. He has great advice for anyone wanting to be in love, and stay there.

 

"Fight back. Fall in love. It's rebellious."

 

A revolution of intimacy feels timely, what are the most important step people can take?

To not be lazy or take your lover for granted.

A lot of people are dealing with online temptations (secretly flirting with other people online, joining hookup apps). Why are you a firm believer in monogamy in today's dating world where polyamory is becoming more popular?

Mental fidelity is a challenge, but worth it. I make sure to clear my phone and social media of temptation. I'm human after all and love is respect — I only have eyes for my lover — and I'd rather peel back layers and be brave, vulnerable and have great sex with someone I trust and love. Not just mediocre sexual situations in loveless encounters. It's too easy. I'm stronger than this, and I demand more.

How can people make love again passionately if they're in a relationship where it has fizzled out?

Remember what you love about that person and start there.

What is the most damaging thing to a relationship, in your opinion?

Infidelity and lies. Be brave enough to be honest.

Is one way of getting out of a porn addiction turning to the pillars of eroticism?

Porn is for masturbation — I think the most unfulfilling part of sex. It's numbing us. And it goes with the times — fast food that is unfulfilling. We are all zombies on phones, under surveillance and right where they want us. The bewildered herd. Make an effort to come back to life. Choose to live. Not fall into the trappings. Fight back. Fall in love. It's rebellious. Now we need this more than ever. And combat everything. We are stronger in pairs.

 

"Don't be afraid to commit to someone.

It's sexy."

 

The book covers divorce, porn and erotica. How do you feel about those topics today?

I am a romantic. I keep trying, but I believe in respect. And know that there is someone right for you — you just do your best. Don't be afraid to commit to someone. It's sexy.

What is the secret for the art of making love?

To learn about the other person — a wonderland who changes every day. Learning, growing. It is never boring if you keep learning.

Lust for Love: Rekindling Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship is out now.

article via www.papermag.com/pamela-anderson-sex-life-2564662917.html

Lust for Love

When two people from radically different backgrounds agree wholeheartedly on something, listen closely. There is a good chance that what they have to say might just be important. Let this book be the proof of that. The co‑authors of this book, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and I, are indeed very different people, from very different traditions, and with very different approaches to life and the world. An outspoken, courageous, and prolific speaker and writer, Shmuley is also a religious teacher. The perspective he brings to Lust for Love is drawn from years of experience providing advice and counseling to married couples.

My background contrasts with Shmuley’s. Many would consider it the opposite of his. But while the broad strokes of my biography are well known, there is also a private side of my life that few will have heard. I started modeling for Playboy at the age of twenty-two and spent my twenties as a cast member on Baywatch. At an age when most people are discovering themselves for the first time as adults—in a time before the Internet had yet taken over our lives and everyone had a taste of celebrity—I found myself sharing my own image with a generation. I watched as my name broke out from my immediate circle of friends, eventually reaching households all over the world.

Surreally, I was called a “sex symbol,” a “bombshell,” a “goddess.” It was a disconcerting experience for a shy, small-town girl from Vancouver Island—a quiet, studious girl who loved her mom and dad but who also had to deal with no small amount of trauma. In the early days it was tough, grappling with uncertainty and the sense of exposure. But I discovered I felt comfortable as long as I pretended to be someone else—playing the part in public, finding within myself a different persona for every shoot. Some might smirk, but in no way do I want to disown the Playboy years or diminish their importance to me. These experiences were a sort of university for me.

Through them, I was given the opportunity to meet and befriend fascinating and beguiling people—men and women, souls and intellects—whose experiences and character and wisdom shaped me. It was an education—unique and brilliant and precious. Thinking of these years I am reminded of the words Anaïs Nin wrote on the development of woman on her own terms, rather than as an imitation of man. The theme of “woman finding her own language, articulating her own feelings, discovering her own perceptions.” It’s sometimes assumed that I should want to renounce those years as decadent or foolish. This is not the case. In hindsight, I am very proud of the independent, unorthodox path I took, a path that allowed me to develop on my own terms, and not—as some might presume—on the terms of men. I am proud of the intense spiritual rewards my life has brought me and the wisdom I have been lucky enough to receive. Most of all, I am proud and in awe of the women I’ve met along the way—powerful, wise, fascinating women; women as diverse and varied, as contradictory and manifold, as the types Nin lists in her diaries: “the masculine, objective one; the child woman of the world; the maternal woman; the sensation-seeker; the unconsciously dramatic one; the churlish one; the cold, egotistical one; and the healing, intuitive guide-woman.”

I want to do justice to these women. I don’t at all renounce my past. It is out of those experiences—and with these companions and guides—that I was able to define myself. It would have been so easy to lose myself then, eclipsed behind a stream of images. But I was there, among these women, and it is there I came to understand the power and autonomy that was available to me in sensuality, there that I came to possess myself in that power, and that is what saved me. It hasn’t all been roses. Over the years, I learned that fame can also be a prison. It can leave very little room for a real person to live behind it, very little space for honesty, and very little time to age, or mourn, or love. Life is untidier than celebrity makes out. At times in my life it has been hard to shake the sense that my life was happening to someone else—that I was the lesser twin to my public image: Pamela and me. It was Pamela who won the praise and the credit, renowned but shallow, never really allowed or expected to have any depth, while I was the thoughtful, sensitive one, reading voraciously, searching for meaning, suffering through my divorce and raising my boys, sometimes waking up and wondering where the last twenty years had gone. “Look for something hard enough and you will find it,” my father once told me.

Lately, I have taken a hard look at my life and experiences, and I’ve realized that I have a lot to say. Playboy models aren’t supposed to have much to say—at least according to some—but it is this very background that I draw on for my philosophy. That’s why, when I first met Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, I did not expect that we would find so much to agree on. I was introduced to Shmuley through mutual friends based in Malibu. He wanted to recognize my activism at the Champions of Jewish Values International Awards Gala. I was honored that I—having no Jewish background—would be recognized in this way. I went along, curious to meet him.

Our first conversations were cordial but fascinating. He had heard I was a very good mother and was interested in how this reconciled with my public image. At the time, I was going through a difficult stage of my life and was preoccupied with the problem of happiness in marriage. Naturally, the discussion turned to this theme—to marriage and the difficulties it faces in our society. I was fascinated to discover the wealth of insight he had into both the eternal and modern problems of love. He had a great ability to put his finger on the complexities of romantic life, concisely and simply. It was a surprise to me to discover a religious teacher who was so awake to the needs of intimacy between lovers, who understood that love must closely trace the contours of passion if it is to endure. I was also intrigued to discover my beliefs about the importance of sensuality and sex in marriage being reflected back in fluent quotations from scripture. My father gave me a keen interest in mythology and folklore, and I have always had a huge respect for the wisdom buried in the mythologies of ancient cultures.

So it was there—not in religious scripture—that I always looked to get perspective on human sexuality. On reflection, though, it is not surprising there is agreement between mythology and religion. Religious traditions are also human traditions, and sex and love are at the core of human experience. Such timeless and enduring expressions of human experience would naturally contain the same basic truths, the same delicate wisdom. As fascinated as I was with his ideas, Rabbi Shmuley was also intrigued by mine. He was very interested in what he saw as apocalyptic contradictions in my character and how they related to the topics we were talking about. It was clear from our discussion that I—just like anyone—have experienced my share of heartache in life. But, he exclaimed, if anyone should be free of the loneliness of our society, surely, it should be me. It should be Pamela—the lifelong cover girl. The woman who—as the tabloids and gossip blogs would have it—could have any man she wants. If Pamela could be lonely, if her heart could be broken, that’s an apocalypse! What hope is there for anyone else?

Of course, as we both knew, this is a myth—I am a human being just like anyone else. Experiences affect me as much as they do anyone else. And, as the great psychologist Carl Jung once wrote, “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” But the question itself was fruitful. We decided that perhaps, instead of despair, it would give people hope or reprieve to know that we are all—without exception—on the great quest for romantic companionship and sexual contentment. During the course of our conversation, we realized that this supposed contradiction in me led deeper into the issues we were discussing, toward an understanding of the reasons for the death of love, of passion, of sex, in our contemporary society. That was when we decided to work together on a book—a book that would capture these tensions, that would diagnose the problems of romantic passion in the twenty-first century, and that would point toward the solutions.

Our book is a call for a fundamental change in relationships that will impact not only individuals but society as a whole. We want to inspire a revolution in human affairs that we believe must happen to afford the greatest possibility of romantic fulfillment to the greatest number of people. It is a sensual revolution that follows other cultural and sexual upheavals in our recent past, an adjustment that can restore balance to the way men and women relate to each other. This transformation isn’t something new to humanity. We experienced it a long time ago. We simply need to rediscover it and practice it once again in our modern relationships.

Ancient mythologies carry its secrets. It is the first flowering of human sexuality in a time before histories were written, and it can be found throughout the literature and poetry and philosophy of every age and every culture. It is the enduring art of human intimacy. Our book is about how it has been lost, and not for the first time. Human intimacy has been distorted before, by technologies that changed the way people connected to each other, and it was necessary each time for society to relearn how to love. In 1946, Nin wrote of “the dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones, take the place of human intimacies, and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision.” We are living through a similar change. How much has the “communications revolution” impoverished intimacy? There have been great strides forward in recent decades: sexual liberation, global activism, and a revolution in information. These are precious gains and should not be lost. But without a practiced understanding of the mysteries of human intimacy and sensuality, the technologies of our age can easily lead us into alienation, disaffection, and loneliness. Shmuley and I agree: if the arts of intimacy and sensuality have been forgotten, they must be remembered again. Our culture must rediscover sensuality and sexiness, for the sake of meaning and value in our intimate lives. Our hope is that this book—the joint efforts of the most unlikely of co‑authors: a rabbi and a Playboy cover girl—can help make that happen.