I've been busy....

The People Garden film finished last month.  I play an eerie muse for a Rockstar's video. It is very Fellini-esque (in my opinion). I wear silk and fly through the trees in the pouring rain   - Nadia Litz Directs 
It is very raw, the story is suspenseful and uneasy..
I love these indie style/artistic films. I'm feeling a genre where I might belong. 
There has been some changes to schedule. 
But - I'm flattered to be on Mr. Herzog's radar at all. 
He's such an exciting man..
Something great will come of it. I'm thinking positive. 
My friend David Lachapelle is doing an 'experimental film' 
(shooting this summer) 
With Sergei Polunin - Rebel ballet dancer. 
I'm fortunate I get to be apart of the wild things he does. 
We are kindred spirits. 
I just finished a short film directed by Luke Gilford (Lynch prodigy) Connected - about a broken woman / alone-. she is looking for anything..  to change her life, feel a part of something. She gets lured into a modern cult - it is of the times. (Even though it feels a bit futuristic). Luke is such a talent. I am honored he wrote this piece for me. 
The timing was perfect. Art imitating life. 
I am in 2 of 5 shorts Directed by Hala Matar- Art pieces. 
For fun -My friend Vivienne Westwood introduced us and we have a mutual friend and admirer Jeffrey Deitch. 
I think we are shooting soon. Very different. 
I'm writing a book right now-- (and it keeps evolving with my life experience) It's About how to live .. the lost art of a sensual life - that's a big subject for me. It's messy and raw. Living with compassion, trying everything-  failing a lot - And, growing. It's also about connecting to the planet and a commitment to all it's beings.
I understand we are all doing the best we can -with the information we have - no one is to blame for that... 
I'm doing this book with my friend and fellow activist John Pierre.. He's an advocate for the protection of women as well as animals. He has taught me a lot about self worth. 
Maybe I'm the modern day Martha Stewart? 
A free spirit. I'm learning to define relationships,  that make sense - that can be fulfilling sensually. 
There is a risk in every reward. 
Mistakes might be worth it. What is a mistake? (With out judgement) I've given a few relationship styles a good shot. And -I've come to some realizations that have surprised even myself. 
People always ask me about my workout regiment - I am not a fitness buff. I prefer to be soft but strong. - I'm naturally fit. 
I'm double jointed and more fIexible than strong. I do not feel comfortable in  gyms - so I prefer to privately train. 
I think when people try to improve - They are also vulnerable. 
Manipulated easily / and  preyed upon.  
I want to feel safe. - learning how to put up fences- 
More healthy boundaries essentially-
I am worried about humans .. Our planet- All living things. 
Especially those who cannot speak up. 
Or the ones who can- but won't. I want to be a part of that change in people. That leap of faith. I am always flattered that I'm still working. Again- in my playboy days. It was the lifestyle. The sexual freedom. Not necessarily the pictures. It was the experience. I was living that life. Like I am living mine now.  A lot different. A mother. An activist. Striving towards elegance, Art... It's been a wild ride. I love the mystery - not knowing what's next. I'm not trying to figure anything out. Or calculate an outcome. 
I have a great team of managers/agents now that understand my ways and believe in me. I love my Lachapelle- we are soul mates, I love Testino and D'Orazio, Juergen.. I've worked with so many people. Lifetimes of people. 
Michel Comte took the very first photos of me / same time as playboy. He found me on Venice beach and shot me for a week for a book. We shot again later. He took photos of my son Brandon when he was 2. I'd love to reconnect with him and Lindbergh. Bruce Weber? 
I have always worked so much and so hard - in the last few years. I was in survival mode. I did things I wasn't so proud of. But tried to think of life as Performance art. 
Say yes to everything? I was depressed for years after my 1st divorce. Tommy and I loved each other like maniacs. We still do. (It is impossible to duplicate) Our kids are products of pure love. (Once in a lifetime love) we still had innocence. 
I think I've always tried to recreate a family for my boys. Marriage was important to me.The boys have grown now. I feel like freedom is my best choice now. 
To love myself. And have that be enough. 
I have a lot of very creative friends. 
I spoke to Vincent Gallo the other night  - 
He excited me. Strange,  talented wild men peak my interest. Artistically. Not personally I mean. Conversation -- 
Jim Jarmush came to be an extra on VIP. 
It's crazy that he was a fan of mine back then. 
Helmut Newton, Mike Kelly, 
Always tried to reach me-- then it was too late. I'm happy to be focused now. And open .. To working with my heros. 
- I write every morning. I'm amazed at what comes out. 
I'm torn. Learning new things... Fearlessness. 
One day,  I hope to take up Mr Marshal and Mr Weissler's idea one day. (It's Timing) To play Roxy in Chicago on Broadway. 
What an incredible offer. (It was a few years back. And didn't work out. Sadly) But -Now that my kids are grown. 
And - my son Brandon played a mean Lord Farquuad in his high school musical.- I'm taking seriously- maybe It is in our blood. I love being on stage. 
Also Larry Rudolf and Robin Antin are puting together a Vegas Show for me- (With the Pussy Cat Dolls! (A dream). 
I have so many ideas.
I would love to co create a show with my friend Jesus Villa. - acrobat - "Cirque du Soleil would not exist with out him. 
He is genius" (Guy Laliberte's words)
The things that make me happy right now are. 
My boys! Brandon just got accepted into the University of his choice. (On his own merit) I am so proud of both of them. Dylan just emailed me a song he wrote on Piano (in his 3rd lesson) and got MVP in Hockey. He is so talented. 
We are adopting 2 puppies right now.
The house feels empty - without a pet or 2. I usually have a house full. And - I'm happy every moment with my dear friend Sam Simon. (battling late stages of cancer) I love to be with him. We laugh so much. He is the toughest man I know.  I am honored to be a part of his journey. I expect a miracle! 
My philanthropy,. I think - I am winging it. Or -channeling something. I've had my foundation for years. But activated it just last year at Cannes - my Son Brandon is a DJ 
He opened up for Afrojak at the film festival (VIP club))  that was fun to witness. It was an eventful trip. My foundation is very grass roots. 
I try to help powerful effective yet vulnerable people on the front lines. We support Sea Shepherd (I've raised a lot of $ for them through my connections) and SS and I have some exciting projects including (most recent) restocking of Chinook Salmon in the Pacific- (thanks to my Ex husband) 
We support Cool Earth (stopping rainforest destruction)we have saved 100's of acres of rainforest through PAF, and personally. I am friends with Julian Assange. I meet with him when in London -to show my support. We've also been brainstorming about how to bring The fearless art world and Activism world together- artists are the freedom fighters of the world. We have to fight for freedom. 
I'm hoping to do a fundraising awareness event in Vegas on Human Trafficking.. I think suitable location - 
It's been a disappointing mission. I've witnessed a lot this last year. I learned a lot... I've decided - 
We need to learn how to make love again. 
Real life Stimulation - not  computer desensitization. 
Or buying sex. We need a 'Sensual revolution'
It would make the world a better place to have more empathy and integrity and respect for each other!
I support JPHRO - Sean Penn and I both fell in love..with Haiti. And Haitian people. A spirit. 
I was so touched by his bravery. He ignited mine. He holds a special place within me. No one else has touched. 
I like to remember that. I have many men that adore me. 
Unfortunately .. they never seem to be my husbands.(Big lesson) Something I want to explore - I believe I have a little artist inside me. I wish to write  in sculpture. I love words. I write on the walls. I paint poetry. 
My kids have been all over the world. They have been active in their philanthropy- it is part of who they are. They are talented. Creative and fearless - I love watching them grow. I've seen the hard work we've put in - giving them the confidence to travel and try new things. 
I believe Vivienne gave my kids the best advice. 
Question Authority (including your parents) read Voraciously- go to museums. Travel. Culture, learn, manners. Make a difference in this world. 
I told them to respect women. Non negotiable. I was surprised at Brandon's answer back to me. (What if they don't respect themselves?) 
Respect them so they do. Right now I feel blissful - but my stomach turns. I have an ache deep inside me. 
It is just life. Like everyone else.
It is challenging (to wade through the muck). I feel light and free despite the ups and downs.  I keep trying. I'm in a social experiment with myself - where I may have failed more than I've succeeded. But I have lived! 
I have no expectations. I'm just existing - trying to make the world a better place. And Grateful.. 
to be alive.