C’est La Vie

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Every time you lie. 

Maybe 

Know that lies 

kill parts of other people. 

Sometimes the whole person. 

You will suffer for every lie. 

So why ...
And commit to loving each other honestly. 

Why not. 

Love and stay alive in truth. 

No more wars between us 

Lies create wars. 

Respect women. 

Save the world. 

It feels better to be free 

of a sociopath - it feels better than being in love with one. 

His carefully worded response on IG -
(Not written by him) 

You can compare writing style to his texts below -

I’m sure this was written either by his sister, lawyer or team at futball club for « Damage control » 

His response -

・・・

Une rupture n'est jamais chose facile. Comme souvent dans ces situations, l'émotion peut prendre le dessus et laisser s'exprimer des choses excessives. Pamela est une personne entière, que je respecte profondément, qui a des convictions, qui est sincère dans ses combats, et pour qui mon amour a toujours été sincère. C'est ce que je veux retenir. 

Je ne pense pas que nous devrions dévoiler notre intimité, notre histoire, qui ne regarde que nous. Sur ce point, je tiens cependant à faire la lumière. En aucun cas je ne mene de double vie, je reste simplement attaché à préserver une relation pérenne avec mes enfants et leur mère Sidonie pour qui je garde un profond respect. C'est vrai j'aurais dû être plus transparent dans cette relation ambiguë. Je l'assume. 

Je reste et resterai fidèle à mes valeurs et aux convictions qui sont les miennes et s’expriment dans mon engagement pour l'association @solidaritefemmes , qui est toujours aussi fort. Je suis fier d'avoir participé à cette grande et belle campagne qui a pu faire connaître le travail exceptionnel de cette association et de ses membres.

Je souhaite l'apaisement et la discrétion pour nos familles et amis, même si je suis peiné et blessé.

J'espère que vous le comprendrez et le respecterez.

-Adil

Decide for yourself. 

Decide if this man should be the face of violence against women in France.???(Organized by positive futball to help improve player images) 

He is perv narcissist 

Dangerous 

Only cares for himself. 

Even in his post. 

He does not deny being abusive. 

He is only angry that people know. 

That public perception might change because they are enlightened. 

That he wished he could have continued to hurt, betray, lie, fuck who he wants and look macho to his sick friends. 

He thought he could get away with it. 

He is the face of a sociopath. 

Nothing caring or kind - 

he does not know what love is. He definitely doesn’t know how to love. 

He was never shown or taught - this was the part that kept me there. To help him somehow. 

He and all like him must be revealed. Brought into the light - 

don’t be afraid. 

Support others going through same thing 

No more abuse in the shadows. 

No more men who think they can destroy hearts and lives and can sleep peacefully while victims can’t sleep at all. 

Abuse should not be hidden. 

It is not personal business. It is an epidemic. 

And he only cares about his image and money. 

His family are sycophants 

- they only make money off him. 

They protect him. 

They enable the abusive men in their families. 

And they should be ashamed. 

The father. 

abandoned them - 

and has multiple wives. Didn’t the hurt in their mothers eyes make them try to change. 

It just fueled the fire. 

In the interest of true and actual transparency, I have chosen to...

Share the letters. 

1st letter ❤️

Hi S😘

This is Pamela - 

sorry to contact you this way. I tried to send you a message through my IG but maybe I’m blocked or — 

it doesn’t matter 

Zeus is my Dog. (Silly IG) 

You children love him. 

I have asked Adil (for over 2 years now) if I could meet you. 

Have coffee. 

I know what it’s like to be a single mom. And I was always friendly with my ex’s girlfriends or anyone near my children. 

It’s normal. 

But - 

if you are uncomfortable. 

I understand too 

If you ever need me please call 

Î’m in Paris a lot 

I have never wanted to come between you. 

I have always encouraged Adil to try to make things work if there was any chance. 

It’s been hard for me to think he is away from his family. 

Leaving my first husband was awful - 

I know it is incredibly painful. 

And - 

there will always be an important bond between you. 

And 

The children 

are most important. 

Maybe 

Î’ve been able to help Adil in some ways grow up a little. 

But 

such a bubble he lives in. 

Between us women sometimes we can make best sense of things. 

I have no secrets. 

I just had to reach out to you. 

to

see if you are ok. 

I prefer to be honest - 

he will be so angry I sent this. 

I also asked Feda for your number. 

But she said she’d ask you and Adil first. 

I don’t want to cause problems. 

Just I want to be helpful. 

I hope Adil will see his children more. 

And if you met me. 

You’d have more confidence. 

I raised 2 beautiful boys alone - no nanny - I was a warrior. 

Merci to read this 

I hope I’m not out of line. 

I wish you the best. 

Sincerely 

P😘

1st Response 

Hi P😘

Really appreciate ur message, as a woman and as a mom.

Its true that, all that matters now are our kids. I just want them to feel good whether in Paris or Marseille.

What i dont understand at all... is what does Adil say to you??...

Just to be honnest :

We broke up in June (2016) -as every summer then we’d usually get back together- then i learnt in the press he met you....so did my family and friends.

Quite shoked and sad.

Then for almost 1year and a half we continued to see each other as lovers, him being really discreet and telling me all would “end” soon ?

Then early 2019 we stopped the “affair” coz i think i worth more than being hidden and treated like that.

Again before his holidays he told me to watch carefully press as all would finally end, that he loved me loved us missed us being family.

But the Truth is, im over it.

I just need him as a Dad, being there for my babies.

Im really hurt and did a long therapy but seriously this man has a good heart but lying issues, and obvisouly self confidence troubles too He sweared kids never met you neither your dog.

Told me u never lived together

Told me all was political and he couldnt do anything

Then admited he screwed up and felt like an idiot.

Anyway,

Feel free to call me

Or meet me in Paris

and i do really wish you to be happy.

S

2nd letter 

Dear S😘

I’m so sorry. I’ve been living with Adil for over 2 years. I’ve never met a man like this. Living multiple lives. I’m in shock. 

I’m so sorry for you and your boys. 

I am leaving him. 

For good this time. 

It’s too mind boggling for me. 

I’ve tried to leave 10 times to leave 

but he always finds me and begs me back. 

He said you appear places without his permission like the Macron event recently. He said you were in NY on vacation. 

He always says you are out of town when he goes to Paris. 

All very juvenile. 

Narcissist actually. Nobody is perfect. Be he is frightening. 

But 

I’m so happy 

to be in touch with you - it’s such a relief. 

Just so you can rest knowing the truth. 

I feel better too now. 

It hurts 

But it’s closure. 

He is definitely not worth any more heart ache. 

I’ll be in Paris this weekend. 

If you want to meet - 

just to clear the air. 

You have beautiful babies. 

I’ve met them - and you have done a great job alone. They are little gentlemen. I just wish I could speak better french. 

I don’t need to bore you with details - so many crazy things 

He has a big big problem with lying. 

And I never felt good about being with a man with 2 young twins. 

I couldn’t imagine how bad you could be to abandon you like that. 

But he reassured me that he loved me. Wanted to be married. ? Lord. 

Thank God 

that didn’t happen. 

You have to stay in his life. 

He is father of your sons. 

But you can be sure. 

I will never communicate or go near him again. 

Maybe you can find a way to heal together. ❤️

He has hurt me a lot - physically and mentally. 

I can’t more. 

It feels so good to hear you 

so I can move on 

from this terrible humiliating game. 

I wish you the best. 

I’m sorry if I caused any heart ache for you. 

You are a beautiful woman. 

Thank you for calling me back so soon. 

Love 

P😘

2nd response 

P 😘

.... i just cant believe what im reading right now.

yep no more details i think we know enough.

I just dont want him around anymore, or texting me.

He is such a Liar.

And i really feel so stupid i could once love him and “build” something with him.

Well i feel sorry for you i dont know what to say except thank you for reaching me out and being so nice thinking about our kids.

At least someone is acting like a grown up here..

You truly are a beautiful person from inside and outside.

Im in Paris all week so feel free to call me when you’re here.

You deserve the Best

S

Ps : I gave you a wrong date. He left home june 2017 -not 2016- prefering the glow of Cannes festival than being home with our babies sons (9 months old)

Then i saw your pix in the press few days after that.

So classy..

Just so you know, all the press you did together, everything, he told me you were doing it but that he didnt want because you were just “friends”. 

Every picture he could explain me with a lie or being agressive.

And the Dancing with the Stars video... he told me your team forced him to do it.

All political and press communication.

I am so dumb i trusted that i admit.

I asked him few months ago :

Can we please end our affair?

Can you please tell me you re dating her, you re in love, you’re happy,you will introduce her to our kids? 

So that i can finally move on!

He said

The only thing i can tell you for sure :

Im unhappy.

😘

3rd letter 

S😘😘

I can’t imagine 

how you feel 

He can be very manipulative 

I hope 

he’s never hurt you physically 

Thé mental abuse 

is just as bad. 

I wonder if meeting would help either of us. ? Or hurt us more ? 

I feel your pain 

I don’t know that you want to hear more details. 

It breaks my heart that his family covered for him too. 

They act like my friends. 

Probably they act like yours too - 

they are complicit. 

They cover for Samir too 

who has beaten women bloody. I have seen photos. 

Maybe he’s even enjoying this - 

that’s what sick men do. 

The attention. 

The adrenaline of hurting people excites them. To think 2 women love them. 

My God it’s a joke 

Maybe his friends think this is cool. France is new to me. He might even look like a hero to some people he knows.

Just so you know. 

After we met in Monaco end of May/2017 We have spent every night/day/sieste together since 

unless I was working out town. 

We stayed one month in Aix en Provence at hotel piggonet 

and one month at hotel intercontinental -

We bought a house in marseille. 

I refurnished and decorated last year. 

I even decorated boys room. 

I paid for all. 

World Cup 

He flew me to Russia for 2 weeks with his family. 

I was not allowed to ever meet player wives. 

He said they are all trash/bitch/bimbos and were beneath me. 

I always told him. 

I’m a big girl. 

I meet many people. 

It’s not up to him who’s good for me or not. 

He refused. 

So he got a private lodge for me and his sister joined me there. 

I was too sick to come to final. I stayed in hotel and watched on TV in Moscow. 

I flew direct to LA from Moscow. He and his family said if I went to Paris that’s all press would talk about and this was his moment. (That’s what they said about last event too) never wanting me to outshine him. Or distract. 

And I never wanted to do DALS. I was bullied into it to make people commission. Adil did vidéo very happily and was at show many times. Just hiding in my dressing room. 

He has always been extremely jealous. 

Paranoid. 

Making me video everything everyone around me. 

Never trusting me. 

Cutting my friends out of my life, 

people they worked got me. 

He isolated me so I could talk to no one. 

Accused me with being with mens? 

He said I could not drink without him. 

It was prison. 

It was like nothing I’ve ever seen. 

It changed me too. I’m not a jealous person. But I couldn’t dream up what he was doing - he taught me not to trust. At least now I know I’m not crazy. 

Hé showered me with presents. 

Clothes, jewelry - hotels, romantic trips - he gave me 

2 carrier rings 

saying he wants to be married with me. Ask my father etc. 

I had a hard time wearing these rings. 

I just couldn’t. 

Now I know why. 

I never accepted his proposals. 

I told him each time I left him 

that I needed to speak to you before going any further. 

That it was important for everyone. Most importantly the kids. 

Sometimes he’d agree just to get me back. 

But then changed his mind 

He said I was sick and needed a Dr. 

He was very cruel to me at times. 

He threw me around by my hair in LA last summer. 

Because I left him 

to go to hotel after a photoshoot with friends. . 

I didn’t want to stay with him longer with his friends in a house in Hollywood. 

They partied every night leaving me at home. 

The summer before he chased me all over LA and in St Tropez - this summer was the worst. 

He crushed both my hands 

I needed to go to hospital (6 months after) because I was in so much pain. I couldn’t write it open a water bottle. 

They need to put me to sleep to do injections. 

my hands were getting better 

but he hurt me again 

at mandarine hôtel. 

When he got so angry with me 

for asking why I was to wait in room and pack our clothes 

while you were at the Macron event in hotel with the players families. 

He said 

he doesn’t know how you got in. 

I know he was with the boys, his mom, Feda and Nou Nou ?

They visited me in the room that day and wanted me to come to aquarium with them. 

In their little white hats. 

It’s endless. 

We could drive each other crazy. 

I’m sure there were many more women. 

He has no respect for women. The fact that he’s face of domestic violence in France was a proactive move only for his image. 

I hope you are strong enough to set new boundaries. 

IF you are like me. It’s difficult - I understand - I forgive easily. and it’s raw. 

He will try anything now. 

It’s Shocking. 

I am very hurt. 

He showed up at my hotel today. I was at breakfast with my son -

I had to have security remove him. 

. He was begging for 5 minutes. 

And he sent flowers. 

I did not accept. 

He’s written me long (for him) letters. Saying he’ll die without me. 

I was right. 

He was wrong. 

This is first time I’ve had the « evidence » I needed to move on. 

I don’t need him like you do. 

I feel for you. 

I’m worried -

He is sick. 

A narcissist cannot change Î’m told. 

To lie this long. Over 2 years? 

To hurt us 

and our children 

our families. 

Is sociopathic. 

He is dangerous. 

I am afraid of him. 

I’ve had a big life. 

I know crazy wild interesting people. Artists. 

But never a mythoman like this. 

This is the worst character. 

A liar. 

Protect yourself, 

your boys and be well. 

Again I’m sorry. 

He’s not worth another thought. 

There are good men in the world. 

Don’t stop to trust. 

Don’t let him make you bitter. 

Then he wins. 

And we both know that’s all he cares about. 

Take care. 

Pamela. 

Final response 

dear P😘

how i feel today?

Betrayed, ashamed, shaking too, crying.

Can t stop thinking over and over again about every details.

we ve been together for 6 years.

Cool at first but always hiding his mobiles, having no names on numbers coz he was “lazy” to do it.

I ve seen already some chats he did with instagram girls or on twitter etc.

I decided to forgive.

Being over jealous making me quit my tv job and telling one by one my friends were bad influence.

Then every summer we would split so he could do whatever he wanted and being back home with a hug and a present.

From very begining of January 2017 he was acting weird, being scared of his new dad duties, always escaping to South of france, not declaring our babies to City Hall etc etc.

Then he slowly talked to me that “eventually” he would sign up to Marseille but i was forbidden to live there!

I was like ok its a dangerous city but where are we supposed to live then?

No answer

Then slowly going out more, being rude and mean.

Then he left for holidays on June 2017.

Taking in front of us all his clothes and stuff.

He was helped by Samir.

Babies and I were shocked watching them moving the suitcases like they were in a rush.

I waited for 2h then called him and said ok you left again

This time its over.

He said Ok! As all was planned already.

Then..... i saw the Voici press of you 2.

I was alone in Spain with the boys and he was laughing over the phone “so what you dumped me im free now haha”.

I spent the worst summer ever

Moving back all our Spanish house to Paris having to face my family and announce the big break up.

Then life began again, i started working again, being surrounded with my closest friends feeling good.

And he kept calling asking who i was with

Being crazy jealous about me going out again and dating other men in Paris or Dubai.

He said to me last month that he did the spanish cover with you to hurt me as i told him ive met a smart and nice man and was willing to move over us.

Then he warmly invited us to World cup

That same day he calls me back saying we re no more welcome.

Feda told me you made him do that as you didnt want see the kids and I there or you would kill him in French press.

All the press you did together, he lied to me.

At 1st it was easy coz he barely never talked in interviews and the pictures were nice so he would say yes she s a friend yes she s crazy about me but as i respect you i dont do anything bad with her

Then it became more and more press.

He finally told me to meet him last september in Gare de Lyon before going back to Marseille because he couldnt forget me and needed to talk to me quickly and explain many things.

There he said all was like a contract he couldnt talk about, i just had to be patient and all would be “cleared” and we d be back together.

From september 2017 to this early 2019 we had sex.

Every time he was in Paris, enjoying it and having naps and ordering food home but of course he had an hotel booked and only spent the night once.

One day he told me “this is bad, i cant promise you anything im so lost”

I was like : about what? Who? Are u dating Pamela?

no answer

For his birthday, the boys wanted to facetime and sing. He refused the call.

I read you were in Megeve then he got angry to get caught and said this was photoshopped he was not reality.

Dancing with the Stars he promised me never to show up on stage as you were just “friends” and said your team was really oppresive and forced him to do the video.

About this recent Macron event

I said i was back from ny and he told me to come to the hotel to pick up the kids but as i remember now he told me to stay upstairs not in lobby.hidden. Seeing no one.

In the hotel room at this event

He told me:

I love you i miss you i miss the kids

I ve been acted as a jerk im an idiot.

Im gonna clean my mess i promise give me time, let me go on holidays and you ll see.

We re so good together.

The only time i was doubting his words were last event you showed up together for football.

I was so sad for the kids because the event is only 10mn from home and he didnt even say hello to them.

Then i said, how come you re outside together are u f****** dating her tell me the TRUTH

he said no

He messed up

Being in an engrenage not knowing how to get rid of it.

All this time i thought as he told me all this was just press,

Virtual life so you could have visibility back here in France and that he was helping you out this way.

Never i thought he was like how you ve described him.

Hurting you?

And being an ambassador for abused women?......

Right now

I just want to heal

Away from him.

His sister talked to me today.

For sure they are all protecting him and now they call me and say your manipulative and bi polar.

I just feel you as a nice and sincere person.

I just dont want to see or hear Adil again.

Never mind for my kids

He s too dangerous.

Ah and yes

Other girls.

You were the Official

I was the official maitresse

And he had some instagram girls he d invite to soccer or other places and lying to me it wasnt true.

When you re in love and you want to BELIEVE you can definitively shut your ears and mind.

I ll get over it, you will too.

No one deserves such a fool, crazy, mentally instable person around like him.

He s just like his dad actually.

For sure meeting together would make it worse as you’ll cry and i’ll cry too.

I just wish you the best

And i do respect the fact that 1st you raised your boys alone, and 2nd you were smart and classy enough to talk to me 1st before going any further.

Take care

Love

S😘

Pamela post on IG 

It’s hard to accept 💔😘

The last (more than) 2.years of my life have been a big lie. 

I was scammed,

led to believe ... 

we were in « big love »?. 

I’m devastated

to find out in the last few days. 

That he was living a double life. 

He used to joke about other players 

who had girlfriends down the street in apartments close to their wives. 

He called those men monsters. ?

But this is worse. He lied to all. 

How is it possible 

to control 2 women’s hearts and minds like this - for so long. 

I’m sure there were others. 

He is the monster. 

How could I have helped so many people @ndvhofficial 

and not be wise enough or able to help myself. 

I don’t think Î’ll recover easily from this. 

I am not a stupid girl. 

I felt many times his lies, 

his excuses. 

But 

we were together every day - 

unless I went away to work. 

This was always hard 

because he did not trust me? 

He was very insecure? 

He wanted me next to him always - 

or vidéo every location I was?, 

with who? 

I learned to accept this as normal. 

And even found myself asking him the same ridiculous questions? 

—-

He wanted to marry me? 

Meet my father. 

Love me for life? 

Î’m devastated after talking to his ex girlfriend. 

Poor woman. 

The mother of his young sons. 

I never felt good about dating someone with young babies. 

I wanted to know what happened. - 

How could he leave them alone? 

Why were they apart? 

He wouldn’t talk about it. 

I did all to encourage their reunion. 

He told me it was impossible. 

That even if he was not with me they would not be together. 

—-

But they were .. 

I feel worse for her, for them. 

His family even lies for him. 

I feel used. 

Betrayed and hurt. 

But I should’ve known better. 

The jealousy. 

The physical 

and emotional torture. 

It was all a mirror of his own actions. 

I did try to leave 10 times. 

Every time he chased me to say he’d die without me. 

He’d go to therapy. 

He wouldn’t hurt me again. 

He wanted us to live in Malibu one day. 

I even emailed my friend who owns LA team for him for next year. Like 

he asked me to . 

—-

I introduced him to my good friends - 

He trained in Malibu with people I admire and trust. . 

I was happy to see him there. 

He seemed happy around dedicated honest people. 

Another world. 

Well we are all in shock. 

He has disappointed us all. 

My family.

My sons. 

My friends. 

Some knew all along. 

David Lachapelle told me from the beginning that he was a liar.

That he was not to be trusted. 

He told him to his face and looked at me and said.Pamela this is a fling. 

Don’t get your heart involved.

I didn’t listen . 

I was not allowed to see David more after this. 

He cut my ‘crazy’ friends one by one out of my life. 

—-

I will leave France now. 

He has tried all - 

He has sent flowers 

letters - 

I did not accept. 

He showed up to my hotel. 

Security took him away. 

I have a body guard 

because he scares me. 

He has hurt me 

and threatened me many times. 

—-

He should not be the face 

of protecting women from domestic violence. 

Or protecting women at all. 

He did this to improve image- only. 

He has no respect for any woman but his mother. 

And he lies to her too - they all lie. 

It’s very painful. 

I’m so so sad. 

I will feel my feelings and move on. 

—-

He asks me to post photos of him on my Instagram? 

He begged me to do while he was in NY with his guy friends on holiday. 

While 

I waited in our house in Marseille. 

We were to meet in Paris yesterday - we rented a house in Cassis so we could enjoy the beach with my dog 

and he’d train and prepare for new season 

—-

Î’m glad I spoke to his ex. 

My God. 

He lied to her about all too. 

She’s also in shock and is very sad. 

It’s the evidence I needed to move on. 

He can’t hurt us more. 

He warned me that all the tabloids in France are his and his sisters friends?

They control all - 

So my last note is here 

on Instagram. 

—-

Narcissists don’t change. 

Sociopaths don’t change. 

I will run for my life 

- I have always fought for truth and justice. - 

this is my worst nightmare - 

I was not a very jealous person 

before I met him. 

I’m happy to know the truth. 

But 

it hurts like hell. 

🙏

Adil response on text to P before being blocked 

After continued to email and call from other numbers all day and night and showed up at hotel - to be removed physically. 

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When he crushed my hands especially my right one till they cracked. It took me 6 months to go to Dr -

I told them it felt like arthritis (so this is what they put down) - (I couldn’t say he hurt me to the dr) though I did tell his sister and the concierge to Olympic De Marseille who took me what really happened. The sister just told me to be patient. That he was changing. 

I could not write or open a water bottle without pain. 

He would hurt me in ways you couldn’t see. Grabbing me roughly - intimidating, holding me with his physical strength. Not letting me leave. Taking keys from me In car not letting me move. 

The lies were only a small part of his controlling tactics. I was not « allowed «  to be anywhere men are. Of course impossible. So he was always angry - I had to vidéo all around me - always, cars , hotel rooms, dinner tables, still nothing was ever enough. While he carried on. Now my feelings are confirmed. People that are extremely jealous are usually the ones being unfaithful. 

Now he’s actually denying any abuse. ?

Maybe he doesn’t understand what abuse is. 

It’s not my intention to hurt him. 

He still is only angry that people know. 

Not upset that he did anything wrong. 

He says he forgives me for posting ?

It’s the only way to get on the record. While he was definitely plotting - asking me to post photos of him.

To say I miss him ?

While ramping up appearing as victim. 

He 

threatened to break my legs last week. - and then would say. 

Because 

I don’t hit women. You are lucky. 

He has no clue about what domestic violence is. He seems to not care that emotional abuse is violence too.

He said only wanted to fight for the women -« who were killed 

because they didn’t cook well enough » not the ones who deserve it.

I tried to tell him it was too late when they are dead. 

That it must start with respect. Encouraging respect would be helpful. And starts be being respectful. 

And that if he respected the women in his life - 

it would help him when trying to help others. 

I thought he’d learn from the association. www.solidaritefemmes.org

I never betrayed him. 

It’s not difficult to be nice and honest. Or just not be in a relationship. 

I don’t know how he kept his lies straight and play soccer. 

While he thought he had all his stories straight and everyone loved him. 

It all imploded. 

The truth is always revealed. 

« Ambiguous «  or not. 

He has still explained nothing while calling from multiple numbers and emailing me daily many times. I’ve had to block him and now change my number/email. Now he’s DM’ing my dog.

He wants me to return to France so we can talk and he said he has proof of all. ? Of what? 

No thanks 🙏 

He’s finally agreed to give my belongings back -

And Zuzu is safe with a friend getting ready to fly back home to me.

It doesn’t feel sexy 

to be cheated on. 

I don’t think it makes me 

more attractive - but 

he is a sex addict, 

narcissist. 

There was no way around his insecurities. He lied to the pool man, 

his teammates, 

the coach,, 

his sister. 

How could I think he wouldn’t lie to me. 

A compulsive liar 

with zero remorse. 

He only acted the way he wanted 

to get what he wanted. 

To manipulate and control all. 

He wanted to “marry me” - 

he talked about it all the time. 

He wanted to move and work in LA next year. 

Lord help me -

It was Hell as it is- 

I’m sure he 

had multiple relationships, 

hook ups .. 

with who knows -  

He just didn’t care - 

and he thought he was invincible. 

Soccer teams have damage control departments - 

They are used to cleaning up messes. 

These guys are too rich 

and too young 

to not make mistakes.  

They are property 

they are protected -

and that means the people they hurt aren’t. 

So 

I have NO regrets about exposing him. 

I encourage everyone 

to at least to get it out 

and to share experiences. 

to speak their truth and not be afraid to come forward. 

It can be intimidating 

but 

you must be brave 

and not be forced to comply 

in secrecy and fear.

You can say what you want,

it’s your life too. 

(As long as it’s the truth!)


We really had nothing in common. 

I would read 

while he played PlayStation 

He didn’t understand me 

as an activist - 

I could never talk to him 

about important things -

There was a language barrier 

and an education barrier. 

We want to see the best in people, 

the potential in people. . 

The cat and mouse game 

seems fun for awhile. 

But 

it’s not healthy for too long. 

I just cringe at how many times 

I almost escaped him -

then allowed him to pull me back in 

with his crocodile tears, 

throwing me over his shoulder 

or a promise a willingness to learn and change. 

I have 2 sons. 

I know that men need 2,3,4 or more chances. 

We all do- 

Sometimes 

we are worth it. 

The good thing is 

he’s not in my life more. 

I hope he can be a better father 

to his boys. 

Maybe they can heal their family. 

But

from what I’ve heard. 

He’s done this to her 

for all the years they were together. 

But 

he’s her bread and butter. 

3 nannies, 

private school all day long 

every day for 3 year olds 

is expensive 

and ridiculous. 

Not sure of anyone’s intentions. 

It all seems to revolve 

around money. 

He doesn’t know who to trust. 

I think part of the problem is his family, 

his friends 

and definitely 

too many balls to the head? 

I hope he learns 

or he’ll end up old, fat, broke 

sleeping on his mothers couch 

playing video games 

ordering Uber eat for life -

like some of his friends. 

No woman of self worth will tolerate his infidelity,

his indecency - 

his physical abuse. 

I tried to leave many times 

But even in the worst times 

I couldn’t get away from him. 

The only way to calm him down 

was to apologize and stay - 

do what he wants 

to make him stop being angry. 

When 

He was drunk after another night out 

with French players in LA - 

after the World Cup. 

Strip Clubs, 

Vegas, prostitutes,

pool parties, 

while he left me alone in the house 

he rented with friends. 

I lost interest. 

I gave up - 

I didn’t want to be with him anymore. 

But 

He doesn’t give up. 

He came to my hotel at 3amDrunk (Chateau Marmont) 

He was angry after all his partying 

that I had friends over 

after a photo shoot 

and I planned to stay there. 

He threw me into walls by my hair. 

He was screaming, crying, calling me names 

and breaking things. 

He took my phone - 

and went through it 

texting my friends 

and he was also on his phone texting 

with who knows.

He texted my friends and people that worked for me  

That he’d kill them 

or fuck them depending on who 

or what phone. 

He even said 

he was texting his Ex. . 

He threatened to send “teams” after people that worked for me. 

He tried to destroy my assistants career and reputation in France 

Just so I had no friends - 

He wanted me isolated. 

So I couldn’t find out what he was doing. 

He wanted me in the house with him 

and not leave. 

I had to accept all he did. 

He could go to ‘the gym’ 3 times a day. 

His lies were so twisted. 

He would yell at me saying he was going to fuck all of LA,

then Paris. 😳

He said 

That every “stupid bitch” wanted to fuck him. 

I’d just say ‘congratulations’ 

I mean - 

what can you say to that?

I’m happy I was always faithful even under the circumstances. 

I could not and would not do anything to hurt or disrespect him. 

I’ve never cheated - 

The worst characteristic to me is a Lying -It’s the beginning of abuse 

and doesn’t end there. 

It’s unforgivable. 


I’m so blessed 

to have lived through this. 

I know it has made me stronger. 

Like everything in life. 


Another art project - 

Life is performance art. 


God doesn’t give you 

what you can’t handle. 


I’m sad for his career to end this way. 

With such a stain on his character. 

It’s his destiny though. 


I have asked that all my belongings 

at our  house be donated to a woman’s shelter-  maybe www.solidaritefemmes.org or www.positivefootball.org can recommend a good place. 

A lot of furniture including the baby furniture I purchased 

that his kids have outgrown by now. 


He also had a huge painting made of my face that he kept by the bedroom 

It could be auctioned by the artist and donated. I don’t like photos of myself in my home - I’m sure he doesn’t want it -


It’s not difficult to be kind, 

gentle and honest 

- but greed 

and macho can get in the way-

Fame can stunt growth 

or make you grow up too fast -


I am an open book. 

I will keep writing 

and live my life as I always do. 


Maybe it helps somebody 

somewhere. 

I know 

I’m a bit crazy - 

Maybe some don’t want to read this. 

but I’m sure someone can relate 

and doesn’t feel so alone. 

And 

it’s worth it to me 

to share with 

whoever that is.