Dancing with the Stars - Cheek to Cheek (and Tongue-in-Cheek)

The New York Times / Dance / April 20, 2010

By GIA KOURLAS

In the realm of popular culture, there are few more terrifying circumstances than dancing on live television. On an episode of “Dancing With the Stars” this season, Aiden Turner, a chiseled soap-opera actor who was recently voted off the competition, threw up backstage.

The ABC show, which made its debut in the sleepy summer of 2005, is now in its 10th season (it runs on Monday and Tuesday nights) and, remarkably, continues to grow in popularity, even on occasion posting higher ratings than “American Idol.”

That probably has more to do with “Idol” sputtering than with any improvement in “Stars,” with its hoary ballroom competition pairing professional dancers with mainly C-list celebrities. But it might also be related to age: the banal fantasy of turning young people into pop stars is losing its shimmer.

“Dancing With the Stars,” on the other hand, is for grown-ups who know they’re slumming. It’s slightly bawdy, from the showgirl costumes to the way the host Tom Bergeron, with a wicked twinkle, looks as if he were trying not to laugh. Last week he greeted America with, “Welcome to the world of fabric remnants!”

Given that self-mocking approach, dancing on television clearly isn’t about career resuscitation; it’s more about self-improvement. The actress Pamela Anderson, with her uninhibited willingness to go for it, gets that. The professional mother Kate Gosselin, whose excuses and tantrums only impede her potential, could stand to learn it. Dancing is work.

The show isn’t buffing dance’s image, either. “Stars” has become what the public latches onto whenever the word “dance” comes up. The attitude of those in the concert dance world, at first bemused, has shifted to something along the lines of, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”

Last Tuesday Tiler Peck, a principal with New York City Ballet, appeared to perform a piece by Travis Wall with 12 other dancers (a word used lightly, especially in Ms. Peck’s company) and the violin duo Nuttin’ but Stringz. It didn’t do much for ballet, good or bad: Ms. Peck was only intermittently visible.

Actually, watching dance isn’t the point of “Dancing With the Stars.” It’s watching so-called stars dance; failure reveals as much as success. This bizarre world of fabric remnants does offer a kind of realism: on a dance floor, nerves fray enough to show a glimpse of what the celebrity contestants are like in everyday life: insecure, lazy, smart, vapid, vulnerable, graceful, clumsy, humorous.

Think of “Stars” as a tale of two shows: the reality is the performance, while the actual melodrama of dance is captured during rehearsals. Here, Ms. Gosselin is the leading light, showing her skill at eliciting sympathy by acting like a spoiled brat. (At one point she complained to her partner, Tony Dovolani, that he wasn’t teaching her what she needed to know.)

“I’m addicted and I’m totally going to cry if it’s over,” she said on the show recently. While Ms. Gosselin lacks any semblance of rhythm, she does have a certain car-wreck appeal. The comedian George Lopez has started an online campaign devoted to making sure that she stays on the show (lopeztonight.com/keepkate), which would be mildly amusing if I hated all that dancing stood for and if Howard Stern hadn’t already pulled off a similar, wittier stunt with Sanjaya on “American Idol.”

Realism is Buzz Aldrin, who was voted off in Week 3. How could someone so stiff ever have walked on the Moon? Despite his age (80), didn’t some small part of his body recall the sensation of floating? Didn’t he, after all, sort of dance in the stars?

As the competition gets tougher, and more celebrities drift away, those remaining begin to transform into something else, even off the dance floor. The contestants get in touch with their bodies and quiet down.

Chad Ochocinco, Evan Lysacek, Erin Andrews, Jake Pavelka, Nicole Scherzinger, Niecy Nash, Ms. Anderson and Ms. Gosselin are still in the running this week. Even with two broken toes, Mr. Lysacek, the Olympic-winning figure skater, is a favorite, but given his background, this is obvious. (Seriously, if he had lost to Mr. Aldrin, his gold medal should have been revoked.)

Last week the show instituted a one-time-only scoring system with points for technique and performance, and Mr. Lysacek, dancing the tango, was in his zone. He dances as he skates. Mr. Lysacek is a task-based performer (tell him what to do and in what order, and he’ll deliver) with a beautiful instrument (his body), but his approach, while initially satisfying, loses its gloss because it’s mostly about following rules.

Another strong contender, Ms. Scherzinger, is best known as the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. She has dance training, although, as the rules insist, not in ballroom. Like Mr. Lysacek, she possesses great line and muscular logic but seems to be gradually losing her luster. After a disappointing rumba, she dabbed tears away. “This is me,” Ms. Scherzinger said. “I’m an artist. I’m not like other people.”

As a dancer, Ms. Anderson isn’t like other people, either: apart from being an actual celebrity, which is increasingly rare on “Dancing With the Stars,” she’s the only imaginative dancer in the bunch.

The sight of Ms. Anderson is liberating after a night of Ms. Nash’s hammy duets with Louis Van Amstel (he is steering her in the wrong, overly sentimental direction), Ms. Gosselin’s stuttering walks and the mere sight of Mr. Pavelka (the eager-to-please former “Bachelor” who treats the show like dance camp and seems to be more in awe of Mr. Ochocinco than of his partner).

Buxom, blond and full of saucy insouciance, Ms. Anderson has said that she had never had a dance lesson in her life. Even so, she is a natural performer, with rhythm, an understanding of when to be subtle or fierce and a sense of how movements connect to create a story. And that’s all accomplished with a tongue-in-cheek self-awareness.

She’s flexible, has great legs and even in high heels could probably run the length of a football field. For a ballroom dancer, that’s key; just as a point shoe creates an extension of the foot, Ms. Anderson’s stilettos achieve the same sensation on the dance floor.

In her mesmerizing rumba last week she floated along so smoothly, lingering in each pose a millisecond too long — this was genius — that her partner, Damian Whitewood, eyes flashing like a desperate Broadway dancer, was the one trying too hard to please. Ms. Anderson may be sexual, but that doesn’t mean that she is cheap. She doesn’t flaunt her sexuality; it’s simply a part of her. Bob Fosse would have loved that.

Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada

February 26, 2010
His Excellency Stephen Harper Prime Minister of Canada

Dear Prime Minister:
In light of Environment Canada’s recent data showing ice levels in the Gulf of St. Lawrence at a 30-year low, please grant a last-minute reprieve to the few seals who are able to give birth there and immediately call off Canada’s 2010 harp seal slaughter.
The absence of this birthing habitat will have dangerous consequences for the entire harp-seal population. Without ice, mother seals will be forced to abort their pups in the water.
I ask that you heed your government’s data and call off this year’s commercial seal slaughter in light of this unprecedented environmental situation. My friends at PETA and I look forward to hearing from you on this important matter.


Sincerely,
Pamela Anderson

Geert Dancet, Executive Director European Chemicals Agency

September 28, 2009
Geert Dancet
Executive Director
European Chemicals Agency
Annankatu 18, P.O. Box 400
FI-00121 Helsinki
Finland


Dear Mr. Dancet,
Thank you for sparing more than 4 million animals who were fated to die in duplicative chemical tests in Europe. I know that the European Chemicals Agency administers the world's largest animal testing program, and as an honorary director of PETA, I was heartened to learn that you acted to alleviate needless suffering. It is a major step forward—a most civilized act for the smallest and often most mistreated of animals—and I must say, the fact that you are based in Helsinki makes me doubly proud to be of Finnish descent.
Last year, I traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak on Capitol Hill against the continued use by the U.S. government of the most outdated chemical tests on animals. Now, as you know, the European Union's chemical testing program will also cause immense suffering to tens of millions of animals in tests conducted for tens of thousands of chemicals. PETA and other organizations worked hard to prevent as many animal deaths as possible when the regulations passed through the EU's legislative process and, thanks to their efforts, animal use was reduced and non-animal methods are being better promoted. Since the law was passed, PETA and other groups, such as the European Coalition to End Animal Experiments, have remained vigilant and are still fighting to spare more animals.
We are delighted that, after you received the joint letter from animal protection groups, including PETA U.S. and PETA Europe, outlining the serious problem of duplicative tests, you issued instructions to companies on how to avoid initial screening tests for approximately 6,000 chemicals.This single prompt action could save as many as 4.5 million animals.
There is much more that can be done to prevent animal tests in this program, and PETA and others will keep scrutinizing every comma and clause of the legislation and will jump on every opportunity to save lives. I sincerely hope that the agency will prove to be as responsive, responsible, and compassionate each and every time animal advocates get in touch as you have been on this occasion.
On behalf of millions of animals now saved from suffering and death, thank you again for taking
action.


Kindest regards,
Pamela Anderson

Justice Minister Claudia Bandion-Ortner,Austria

May 8, 2009
Justice Minister Claudia Bandion-Ortner
Bundesministerin Mag. Claudia Bandion-Ortner
Bundesministerium für Justiz 1070 Wien, Museumstraße 7 Austria

Dear Ms. Justice Minister Bandion-Ortner,
Thanks to the tireless efforts of animal advocates, Austria now has one of the most advanced animal welfare laws in the world and has banned fur farms, experiments on apes, and battery farming of laying hens. Instead of celebrating these progressive steps, Austrian authorities have given in to powerful industries and betrayed their citizens and animals by unleashing a campaign of suppression against animal welfare activists—putting them under surveillance, raiding their offices and homes, and detaining them without charge in actions reminiscent of the shame of Guantanamo. The authorities are now openly threatening to use an anti-terrorism provision of the criminal code against the animal welfare groups, declaring the whole movement to be a criminal organization and allowing people who have not committed crimes to be jailed for up to five years. Legitimate NGO work is being treated like mob activity or terrorism when it is simply kindness in action, decency in motion, and vital social evolution. A free democracy must allow for protest and free expression. I call on the Austrian Ministry of Justice to drop these shameful accusations against legitimate animal welfare campaigners and to make sure that such an abuse of power doesn't happen again.

Sincerely, Pamela Anderson
Honorary Director
PETA

Charlie Crist, Governor of Florida

March 12, 2009
The Honorable Charlie Crist Governor of Florida

Dear Governor Crist:
As a proud supporter of PETA, I'm thrilled to be coming to Florida this weekend for the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida's gala celebrating its important work on behalf of animals in your state. I visit Florida frequently because of the beaches and nightlife, but my favorite experience in the state was my visit to Save the Chimps, an animal sanctuary in Fort Pierce. Save the Chimps provides refuge to chimpanzees who have been rescued from laboratories or the entertainment industry. The animals live among their own kind on 3-acre islands, each linked to indoor shelters by a land bridge and dotted with jungle gyms, hammocks, and tire swings.
Not all apes in Florida are so lucky. Great apes are complex, social beings with long life spans. Even though they share more than 95 percent of our DNA, many great apes are languishing in Florida's decrepit roadside zoos—old-fashioned "attractions" that do not meet the social, physical, and habitat needs of great apes. These noble animals are often confined to small, barren cages and denied everything that is natural to them for years on end. Is that any way to treat our closest relatives in the animal world?
Not surprisingly, great apes living in these hellholes will take any opportunity to escape—and because of their immense strength, they pose a danger to the public across the country. In September 2005, four chimpanzees at a roadside zoo in Nebraska escaped from their cage and terrorized a boy. In March 2005, four chimpanzees in California escaped from their cage and attacked a man, biting off both of his testicles, most of his fingers, and almost his entire face. And just last month in Connecticut, a chimpanzee (who had been taken away from his mother as a baby and used in commercials) attacked a woman; the victim lost her hands, nose, lips, and eyelids in the attack.
With so many frustrated great apes stewing in squalid facilities in Florida, it is only a matter of time before a similar tragedy strikes your state. PETA and I appeal to you to take action to prevent Florida's roadside zoos from keeping great apes and to ensure that these intelligent primates are transferred to approved sanctuaries to live out the remainder of their lives in suitable surroundings.
I look forward to hearing from you.


Sincerely,
Pamela Anderson

Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands

December 10, 2008
HRH Queen Beatrix
Noordeinde Palace
Postbus 30412
2500 GK Den Haag
The Netherlands

Your Majesty: I'm thrilled to be visiting Holland this week not only because of the country's charm but also because of its progressive outlook on two issues close to my heart: sex and animal rights. These topics overlap when it comes to fur: Nothing has less sex appeal than a fur coat. I was thrilled to learn from PETA and Bont voor Dieren that Holland has banned several kinds of fur farming, and I hope it will consider enacting a ban on all types of fur farming. The majority of Dutch citizens are opposed to wearing fur, and a ban on fur farming would be an enormous inspiration for other countries and animal lovers around the world. I hope my presence at the Millionaire Fair will encourage people to consider that they can have a look that kills without killing and that nobody should support gassing, strangling, or electrocuting animals—especially for a luxury item.
I hope that my next visit will be to celebrate a complete ban on fur farming in Holland.

Kind regards,

Pamela Anderson

Albert Baladi, Managing Director Yum! Restaurants International South Pacific

Albert Baladi, Managing Director
Yum! Restaurants International South Pacific
20 Rodborough Road
Frenchs Forest, NSW 2086
Australia


10 July 2008
Dear Mr Baladi,
I’ve been in Australia filming Big Brother, in which my housemates and I are confined and sealed off from the outside world, much like the chickens who are crammed inside barns for KFC. Fortunately, I won’t be stomped to death, have my legs broken or be scalded to death in a tank of hot water – yet, as PETA’s undercover videos have revealed, the chickens raised for KFC’s restaurants in Australia often suffer these abuses.
Following negotiations with PETA, KFC Canada has agreed to make landmark animal welfare reforms, including phasing in the purchase of 100 per cent of its chicken from suppliers that use controlled-atmosphere killing (CAK), which is the least cruel method of slaughter. KFC Canada has also agreed to implement stricter audits of suppliers, and it will offer a vegan faux-chicken menu item at most of its restaurants. Please use your position as head of KFC in Australia to stop the worst abuses that these birds suffer by asking David Novak, CEO of Yum! Brands, to make the improvements already agreed to by KFC Canada.
Thank you for your time.
Pamela Anderson