I know it's bad for you...
But, this is when I wish, I had a cigarette- something I've never tried- (light up) some kind of relief.. I wish it was Italy 40 years ago-- The moon rising over the Amphitheater-- to tremendous applause... like Herzog (clap) Europeans don't seem to care about silly smoking laws?
We do what we want anyway - behind closed doors-- Our true character, collective complexities. childish activities - patterns- genetics?
Attention deficit- - ...SEX ... a lost art-- a sickness-- Perversions- Lost sensuality - The cruel smell of orange blossoms... I love being in love-- but expectations, make it impossible to be happy- or satisfied... I've tried... so hard.. maybe it's not in fashion-- Tradition...just seemed so romantic...I guess it's a used up ideal -- for the old fashion... not modern...frown emoticon Female security... lost- no way-- Coded, and loaded Cell phones, Computers -- Ordering sex on line- is like ordering a book on Amazon-- and ... snooping eats you alive-- A mirrored action. obsessive love... unhealthy, hopeless- knocked sideways-- There is always this feeling - of discontent-- Like something is off... I can't put my finger on why-- Who wants to be the Warden-- I want out of here-- out of this time -- in space-- Grey, muted crystals, from unsavory places- bad intentions, dull- no fire-- a secret life - Laying in my hotel bed-- pulling up my stockings- carefully re-attaching to the garter- The Cuban heel- the line (right on course) the works... Feeling a little guilty- I started to fantasize-- Il Postino, Pablo Neruda- Should I go to Capri--?
So frustrated-- burning... questions... No man knows what to do with me-- I blame myself-- To play with me, is eternal-- I'm not 'on the clock' or... on the 'payroll'-- rrrr-- I had to get out of the room- The velvet stuff and porcelain things closing in on me-- What have I done...?
I knew it was wrong from the start-- primitive-- base instinct.. Never marry a rich man... Euros from a Vagabond.. Just start walking - (Like Jeanne Moreau and Miles Davis) Never look back- There is only beauty ahead, Salvation.. Glory Rushing... I almost forgot where I was-- shit-- My white Burberry trench - - on the floor?
A Park-ay floor... (Narration by a deep voiced sexy black guy) BG- She stopped to admire it's clever design, ME- "So pretty" BG wrapped herself up--- She snuck out the door with a quiet click, and Seamlessly, floating down the hall- (on wire) Her Tom Ford feet didn't touch the ground-- Falling gracelessly into an elevator playing Nat King Cole's.... Stardust? (remembering the movie) ME- "Fallen Angel?
" BG Nobody was up yet- out into the cool world she goes, ME-" Freedom... I can breathe..." BG- looking for a little human contact?
... ME- "I'm so Hungry..." BG- Her heart was racing--- It was barely dawn -- Bathed in perfect light- magic hour-- -- ME- "Everyone looks good this early" BG- Even cats and hummingbirds Was anyone watching her.. She gazed up into dark windows... to nobody... and let the jacket fall loosely around her shoulders... The rush coming back- ... a little lost on purpose, Hiding around corners, ME- so dangerous- my body is on fire.... my body is never done-- trouble finds me-- please find me- The iron is always hot!" BG- She Leaned against the cool wall of a stoney church- It felt good, soothing- ME- I wonder how prostitution works-
Does it ever feel good?
Lost little souls - being taken advantage of-- or taking advantage of- Is it just for money?
Is it for attention?
or --- both-- Women suffer- - Everywhere... rules, rules, rules-- conflicting needs.. I can't find the answers-- It's an epidemic-- I know I won't compete with a computer, PlayStation, or - a gaggle of Hollywood boys hiring poor Eastern stolen girls to swallow loaves of bread up their anus'?
- and make them bark like seals --?
How does that work?
" BG- She was disturbed-- How far can she take this?
-- Is it even real?--
ME- "Have we lost men to thin air--- to the Abyss-- to technology and lube- Flesh is attached to a heart and a brain- takes effort...and skill... Where are the great lovers?
-- A lost art... God , I hope not... I've never been to Columbia-- Should I go?
- I really want to go! Is this Hysteria?
now-- Coming down from the ceiling, dripping in gold glitter-- Dancing with Nureyev- eyes closed--- the dream... arousing my tenderness, A sweet rawness- feeling bruised and scratched up-- Hypnotic - Life is sensual-- not a "fix it in post"-- ME- I miss PLAYBOY- The End of an Era-- Chivalry, elegance- Celebrated imperfections - differences... hot---passionate dreamy scenes... The girl next door-- shyness-- "it's my first time" but - not my last....(wink) -- I'm planning a mysterious coup-- Want to get in on it-- Julian Assange?
Is it healthy, to be fantasied about... by many men --?
Isn't that the goal- How many can we effect -- It's natural-- to want to be desired-- The world creeps up on you-- and there you are, ALL over the place- places you never intended to be-- (desert storm?) (soldiers) I am human you know-- left to adjust to the madness- No mercy- pay the price-- my fault- BG- feeling empty, sad-- withdrawn- Left to Isolate-- Medicate. Go to sleep-- ME-NO! I wont- - ME- You know- It's not freaky enough, to just be beautiful-- I've never felt beautiful- I always felt sexual... and blind.. oh wowwy... I'm losing my mind-- I'm shutting down-- It's such a strange feeling... going numb... in front of everyone---- It's like a Self inflicted drowning...hard to do-- (Alarm bells!!)---
When did I want to be this thing?
-- To attract what?
When did I go from a curious little girl, to an insatiable woman?
Girl on the run... Femme fatale... devoted and....divided. Are we all going crazy?
- or, is it just me?
Is it that stuff on unwashed vegetables?
When did I lose control over my own heart?
-- When did I start believing, That this is all I'm good for- against my better judgement-- fell for it- dammit- it all backfired-- It doesn't feel good to be used, neglected, ignored--- controlled.... I'm not doing this--- It's humiliating - I have to turn this around-- Settling is powerless- desperate-- an illusion-- Can't buy your way out of this one ...buddy!! I'm cold- (She can't stop laughing..)
Reminds me of a play I wrote -- That one about The Hell's Angels, starring - Steve McQueen and Brigitte Bardot--
The Entr' Acte....
** A car chase- She is going on and on (in french) and He's just trying to have his way with her- everything is double entree' Funny/Sexy-(subtitles projected) They've stolen billions in diamonds - she's dripping from head to toe... in a sparkly madness of laughter--- 60's Porsche?- (or that GT/Bullit car) All in a Car - bouncing and swerving-- lights- facing the audience-- (with B/W projections from the 60's behind them--)... They fall in love-- They fall apart--- I'm not sure what the The Hells Angels have to do with it-- but they stay in the title---
(Is near ....)